


We Are Only Pieces

by Ælfflæd (MurderRose)



Series: Love Is The Whole Thing [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (Milky Josh and The Boys~), (being bitten as a coping mechanism), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Amnesia, Biting as a coping mechanism, Breastfeeding, But also, Domestic Moments, Heartache, M/M, Nesting, Nursing Kink, Pregnancy, Scenting, TW: Allusions to Ideas of Suicide, Wolves, Worldbuilding like you've never seen before, and, biting as a love language, i'm gonna tag this right away:, lots of love, yes i'm aware how suspicious this list sounds so far
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:08:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderRose/pseuds/%C3%86lffl%C3%A6d
Summary: Jeonghan didn’t pay attention to much other than nursing Sujin and making sure the pup smelt healthy and that they both slept.  He had a vague notion that something was wrong, but his days started and ended with a bite and he didn’t, he couldn’t, he didn’t want to know anything else.Beta cried a lot.  Alpha cried a lot.  Jeonghan fed Sujin and slept.Their bedroom was heavy with the scent of milk and sadness but stronger with their scent, with family, with their bond, and no matter how much they coaxed or ordered or insisted, Jeonghan would not leave it.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: Love Is The Whole Thing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132679
Comments: 39
Kudos: 79





	1. Episode 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cast out pretty much anything you know about omegaverse, cause there's Oh So Very Little that I kept, although, depending where you're coming from more or less may be familiar.  
> I'll do an infograph at some stage if it's needed, but just ... go with the flow, I suppose, and ask questions if you're confused.  
> This fic is for anyone who ever asked me for baby fic, for Aleeyah who wanted Jeongcheol with kids, for Sonder who is my favourite World Building Master & Inspiration Queen, for Yeji who inspired it originally and wailed through it's very fledgling phase, for Caro who writes so beautifully, and for myself because I'm broody.
> 
> It wouldn't be me if it didn't have a healthy dose of not-happy. If you would like to know what it is, (I would have tagged but Spoiler!), send me a note on one of my socials (linked [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderRose/profile)).
> 
> Title from Rumi.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> Rose xx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December – March

If Seungcheol wore all of the jewellery Jeonghan had bought him over the years, he'd actually just fall over, but with Jeonghan's fangs constantly down these days, he didn't dare leave the house without at least three different gifts. Today? Apart from one of his heavily embroidered shirts and the belt with a gold buckle that he wore everyday, he had péridot stud earrings, a matching necklace, a set of gold plated cuffs with their names engraved on the insides, two anklets underneath his socks and a beautiful copper ring that Jeonghan had picked up on holiday. It was fairly weighty, but everyone knew that adorning was something you let happen to you. That you cherished happening to you. 

"Hey honey, you're off?" Jeonghan called, hopping off the final stair and fishing out a hair clip from his pocket.

"Yeah, what time are you aiming to finish at?"

Jeonghan stepped closer and dragged his wrists over Seungcheol's neck before kissing him gently and sliding the clip into his hair, tugging that strand that always got pushed behind Seungcheol's ear up and out of his way.

"Five-ish? I think. I have clients from noon to four. And then— yeah, five I think. You?"

"I'm meeting the alphas for dinner after work, remember?"

Jeonghan's face fell momentarily but he nodded, "Oh right, okay. If you're drinking, call a taxi okay?"

"Of course. Have a good night."

"See you later, so." Jeonghan nodded decisively and kissed him again.

  
"Cheol-hyung? Is Jeonghan…" Soonyoung trailed off and swept his eyes over the sheer amount of adornments and Seungcheol nodded with a laugh.

"This weekend I think."

"Are you sure you want to come out?"

"Yeah, we talked about it yesterday. I am adorned, it's okay."

Soonyoung raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure? Is he sure? It's your first heat since—"

"We have a few days 'til enclosure. I'm sure."

"Yeah, just checking."

  
Maybe Seungcheol shouldn't have. But he'd had a good night, good food, a good catch-up. The last thing he was expecting when he got home was to practically be tackled to the ground, where Jeonghan perched himself on his chest like a particularly pleased cat.

"Babe?"

Jeonghan purred quietly and Seungcheol dropped his head back against the floor.   
"You said you weren't due until Saturday?!"

Jeonghan trailed his— suddenly very sharp— nails over Seungcheol's shirt. Oh fun times. Heat was here then. Or would be soon. He didn't know much about Jeonghan in heat, but everyone said omegas were terrifying. It was their first together.

"Don't you worry, Alpha. I'm not in heat yet, silly. You'll have to find me when that happens. I'll run slow."

"No, you won't."

Jeonghan grinned, "No, I won't." He scented him slowly, the air in their hall slowly growing heavy with it, until Seungcheol didn't even smell like himself, never mind like his friends or the taxi or work. 

Jeonghan pulled back, "Come on, bed."

•

Jeonghan had been wearing scent proof scarves all week and being extra secretive and if he didn’t tell Seungcheol what was going on by the end of the day then he was just going to have to insist he let him scent him. They were due a scenting session that weekend anyway, it wouldn’t be hard to sniff out whatever was going on. He didn’t particularly want to bite him but—

“Cheol-ah?” Jeonghan called from upstairs, “Alpha? Can you come here for a second?”

“Where are you, love?”

“Bathroom.” He sounded hesitant or worried or something. Seungcheol took the stairs two at a time and slowed down, leaning against the door jamb to look at his mate. He looked shy. His hair whisping around his ears, all wrapped up in that emerald green cardigan he loved so much, skittering back and forth between the sink and the door.

“Is everything alright?”

Jeonghan nodded, looking at Seungcheol’s feet, mating mark peeking out from his collar. He tangled his fingers in the pocket of his cardigan and pulled out a stick of some sort. Seungcheol made himself stay by the door.

“Alpha?”

Seungcheol rumbled gently, reaching out for him, and Jeonghan folded himself into his side, leaning against him and pressing the stick into his hand. 

“Omega, what’s this?”

“I’m, I’m— we’re going to be parents. Alpha, I’m pregnant.”

Seungcheol couldn’t breathe. He hugged Jeonghan tighter, flipping over the stick to see the little green plus sign on the display, pressing a kiss to Jeonghan’s crown, ecstatic. Parents. They were going to have a pup. Jeonghan was pregnant. A baby.

“Alpha?” Oh no, Seungcheol pulled back, Jeonghan’s eyes were welling with tears. “Are you happy? I didn’t—”

“So happy, omega-love, of course I’m happy! I’m so excited, we’re going to have a pup! A baby!!” Seungcheol tossed the pregnancy test into the sink and tilted Jeonghan’s head back, pressing their lips together. Jeonghan sighed, his purr fluttering into life around them, vibrating against Seungcheol’s lips. 

“Can we tell—”

“Beta? Maybe wait til the doctors give us the go ahead? We'll book you a doctor’s appointment– Oh, you’re going to be an excellent dam, Jeonghan-ah—”

“You'll be a brilliant sire–” Jeonghan dragged his cheek against Seungcheol’s chin and pressed his face against the hollow of his neck. “Excited. Scared. Proud?”

“I’m proud too, baby. I’m so well pleased in you, omega. You’ve done so well.”

•

Jeonghan was nearly crushing the bones in Seungcheol’s hand as they waited to be seen by the doctor. He’d had the battery of blood tests and urine tests and smears and any other test you could think of done on the Monday. They were in for the results and a more personal visit. Seungcheol wrapped his other arm around his mate and leaned down to nuzzle his neck softly. He knew he was only thinking about bad things, but it wasn’t going to help if he couldn’t at least breathe.

“Mr and Mr Choi?”

  
Everything was alright. It was the first thing the doctor said to them. Before they’d even stepped through the door, and Jeonghan’s relief was palpable. 

“We’ll get you in next door for an ultrasound in a few minutes, the nurse is prepping, but before you go in, any questions?”

Jeonghan let go of Seungcheol’s hand to open his bag and pull out a notebook. “Yes. We have quite a few.”

The doctor only smiled and waited for Jeonghan to get out his pen.

  
“Now Mr Choi— Can I call you Jeonghan?” The technician smiled and ushered Jeonghan into the room.

“Yes, nice to meet you.”

“Right Jeonghan, I'm Laurie. We're going to be doing an internal ultrasound today, would you like your husband here or not?”

“My mate, and he can stay, please.”

“Alright, come on in, you can sit over there, if you don’t mind.” She directed Seungcheol to a chair in the corner and motioned at Jeonghan to change into the gown and sit up on the bed.

“Now, we mightn’t see anything. I just want to prepare you both for that. What this is really to check for is that the embryo—that’s the egg that will grow into your baby—has settled in the right spot. We’re going to have a look and see how developed that embryo is. Now, you got pregnant during the December season, am I right?”

Jeonghan nodded, “First week of December. I’m early, generally.”

“Perfect," Laurie said with a smile, "So we’ll probably be able to hear a heartbeat, and see the yolk sac and maybe the thickening around the sides that we call the fetal pole. But again, we might not be able to. Different babies grow at different rates. We’ll also check for multiples. So if you have twins or triplets or anything more. That should show up today. Sometimes they hide, so don’t rule it out, but we’ll do our best to find them today. Okay? Any questions?”

Jeonghan shook his head, “No, but can Seungcheol sit closer?”

“Oh, yes of course, go ahead.”

Seungcheol moved his chair and took Jeonghan’s hand, lacing their fingers together tightly.

“Now, knees apart for me, thank you. Tell me if it hurts, it might be a little uncomfortable but it shouldn’t hurt. This will be a bit cold, I’m sorry— There you are. Well done. Breathe for me?” She looked up at him and Jeonghan exhaled.  
“There we are. Okay. Now, have a look over there to the screen. I’ll talk you through it in a second, we’ll take a recording, but just have a look. Dark spots are what you’re looking for.”

Seungcheol looked, there were two, a little ways apart, but definitely two spots. He kissed Jeonghan’s knuckles.  
“Twins?” 

“I think so, yes. Looks that way! Congratulations, you two! Okay now if we’re all really quiet—”

A rapid flutter came over the speakers, and with a little concentration, Seungcheol could separate it into two heartbeats, beating in each other’s pauses. Jeonghan looked up at him, mouthing the word twins and Seungcheol nodded, touching his nose to Jeonghan’s softly. Twins. They were going to have twins.

•

Jeonghan wasn’t showing yet, there was nothing that Seungcheol’s eye could see, but it didn’t stop his hands from making their home on his mate’s stomach whenever they could. Jeonghan shifted beside him, reaching for the TV remote to lower the volume as the programme went to the break, and put his hands over Seungcheol’s.  
“You really like holding my stomach don’t you?”

Seungcheol ducked to press a kiss to Jeonghan’s shoulder, “You’ve got our pups in there, love—”

“They’re so small they can’t feel you. I don’t even have a bump yet.”

“I can feel one—”

“That’s ‘cause all you do is touch my stomach. I can’t even feel one yet, Alpha.”

Seungcheol huffed and stroked his fingers over Jeonghan’s skin softly, imagining like he was petting their pups’ noses.

Jeonghan turned his head to catch him in a gentle kiss. “You’re such a good Alpha you know that? You’re going to be a great sire.”

“Thanks babe. You too, you know? You’re not gonna let either pup out of your sight for weeks.”

“Neither are you.”

•

“Alpha?” 

Seungcheol closed the wardrobe, “Yeah?”

“Do I have a bump or is it my eyes?”

“Turn to the side?” Seungcheol leaned back against the wardrobe and peered into the bathroom. Jeonghan was in his underwear and staring in the mirror. “A little swell. Just a little one. But yeah. I can see it.” 

Jeonghan curled his palms around the barely there bump and cooed quietly. “Hey little beans, you’re getting big, aren’t you!”

•

“What are you cooking? It’s making me feel sick!” Jeonghan shouted down the stairs at some stage during his eight week and Seungcheol looked sadly at the mackerel he was frying. 

“You like mackerel though?”

“The beans don’t!”

Seungcheol sighed and opened the fridge, “Chicken?”

There was a pause as Jeonghan presumably consulted with the beans, “Sounds lovely, thank you, Alpha!!”

Seungcheol sighed and took out the chicken. He’d have the mackerel tomorrow. Or Jeonghan would eat it in the middle of the night. He was constantly hungry, and constantly queasy. They called it morning sickness, but it was 24h sickness, half the time Seungcheol only woke up to him throwing up. The doctors said it would pass. Eventually.

It was most likely because Seungcheol knew Jeonghan’s body so well that he could tell all the small changes that were going on, how he was getting softer and curvier, how he’d started sleeping curled around his stomach as if he could protect the beans from whatever dreams might ail them.

Could babies dream in the womb?

His scent was changing too, getting creamier or milkier or something, not that Seungcheol had mentioned it. Jeonghan was really sensitive to changes in his scent— primarily because unlike any other alpha omega couple that they knew, their scents hadn’t melded when they’d bonded. It wasn’t unheard of, but Jeonghan hated it.

“Alpha?”

Seungcheol turned around, Jeonghan was fresh out of the shower and raised his eyebrows at him. “Yeah?”

“I was calling you for a while. I think I can eat the mackerel, if you haven’t started the chicken yet?”

Seungcheol looked at the counter, “Oh, no, sorry I was thinking about something. No, I haven’t done the chicken?”

Jeonghan laughed and wrapped himself around Seungcheol’s back, “I thought I was supposed to get pregnancy brain, not you.”

“What can I say, I’m sympathetic to you—”

Jeonghan laughed and shook his head, “Don’t you dare! Only one of us is allowed to be ditzy!”

"Can't it be me?"

"Cook my dinner, Alpha." Jeonghan nipped his shoulder as he pulled away and smiled, flitting over to the other side of the kitchen to pour a glass of water. That omega would be the death of him.

•

  
They’d taken the trip two streets over to Joshua’s house especially to tell him that Jeonghan was pregnant— they were past the 12 weeks and had been cleared to tell anyone they wanted. Jeonghan froze mid sentence and stared at Seungcheol. Joshua turned to him in alarm, but Jeonghan shushed him.

“Hold on.” He put his hands carefully on his little bump and his eyes went wide. “I can feel them? I think?”

“Is this the first time?”

“Yeah," Jeonghan breathed, staring down at his stomach in awe, "Very first time."

Joshua grinned, “They're having their quickening in my house? Oh hello little ones! I can feel the love already!”

Jeonghan shushed him again, but with a smile. “It’s like a ripple? From one side of my stomach to the other. It’s really odd. But I know it’s them.”

“Can we feel?”

Jeonghan shook his head, “No, just me. In a few weeks probably.”

Seungcheol nodded, “Well, Shua, I think the beans agree with what we were going to ask—”

“Will you be their Selene?”

"Both of them?"

Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol, "There's nobody else we'd trust more to look after them if we couldn't. Nobody else I'd trust more. And the moon has always favoured you, there's nobody better placed to be their Selene."

Joshua looked between the two of them with a rapidly growing smile, “You don’t have to ask twice. Absolutely. Of course I will. Oh, I can’t wait! Han?" Joshua turned, beaming, "Can I?”

“Yeah.” Jeonghan nodded and took his hands off his bump, Joshua touched gently, wide eyed. Seungcheol could relate. Jeonghan laughed at him over his new bump obsession, but he just couldn’t believe that their pups were growing inside his mate. Inside Jeonghan. It was— on one hand of course they were. Omegas were guaranteed to get pregnant during a heat, but on the other, they were only mated a year. It had been their first heat. They’d grown up together but it was still nothing like he’d imagined but at the same time everything that he’d dreamed of.

“They’re both as big as limes now. And they have all their organs. And my bump got so much bigger this week because everything shifted forwards.”

“Do you have morning sickness?”

“All the time. And I get really dizzy when I stand now, that’s the latest. But the doctors said it’s normal? So hopefully it all passes soon. Poor Seungcheol can’t wear sleeveless tops anymore though, I keep biting him.”

“You’ve always been a biter,” Joshua dismissed, tracing a prayer onto Jeonghan’s belly before taking his hands away, “Get used to it, Seungcheol.” 

  
•

  
Seungcheol came home a little late, the pack meeting had run over, and he was exhausted. He opened the door as quietly as possible— Jeonghan was sleeping earlier and earlier these days— and crept up the stairs. Jeonghan opened his eyes as he came in, little beads of light in the mess of blankets and clothes he kept stealing from Seungcheol's wash basket. ('The beans want them, alpha.' 'Don't they like clean clothes?' 'They like your smell.') Seungcheol made his way across the room to kneel onto the bed.

"Hey omega."

Jeonghan tilted his head back and Seungcheol kissed him gently, hand curling behind his head to support him, relishing in the sleepy ease of him, and pulling back.

"Good day?"

Jeonghan nodded, wriggling an arm free of the nest and grabbing Seungcheol's wrist, pulling his hand to his bump.

"What is it, love?"

And then he stopped talking, splaying his palm wide over the bump. There was a little fluttering kick against Jeonghan’s skin. And another. And another.

"Can you feel them?" Jeonghan whispered and Seungcheol nodded, kissing him again, overjoyed. Jeonghan hummed against his lips and pressed the pads of his fingers to his jaw, walking them down his neck to press against his scent gland. Seungcheol broke away to huff out a laugh.

“Miss me?”

“They’ve been kicking for the past hour. I was trying to nap, but they had plans.”

“I’m sorry. Beans it’s time to settle down now, your dam is tired.”

Jeonghan smiled, “Listen to your sire.”

“They’re not going to call me sire, are they?”

“That’s what I called mine? What do you call yours?”

“Sisi.”

“Sisi? Okay that’s what they’ll call you then. I want damma and then dam when they’re older.”

“Maybe Senna. Mingyu calls his sire that and I’ve always liked it?”

“Well you have a while to decide.” Jeonghan leaned up to kiss him again and Seungcheol smiled against his lips.

"So you do miss me?"

"Always. Come to bed, alpha."

"Let me change first," Seungcheol pulled away and started to change, ignoring Jeonghan's displeased whine, "Can I shower?"

"No."

"I'm going to scent of other people—" Jeonghan hissed a little and Seungcheol bent back over the bed, kissing his nose– "You don't like that smell in the nest, love."

Jeonghan hauled himself up, "I'll shower with you then. Need you. Just, keep your hands on me?"

"Sure," Seungcheol helped him out of the nest, balancing him as he found his feet, and leaned up to drag his cheek along Seungcheol's chin, self scenting. "Do you want a proper scenting?"

"Oh moons yes, please? I just, maybe it's the beans, I feel all weird. It's been a weird day."

"Yeah?" Seungcheol reached into the shower to turn it on, stripping and pulling Jeonghan's nightshirt up over his head.

"I had two clients, and so much admin, but one client—" Jeonghan turned back to rub his cheek against Seungcheol's chin– "One client was really weird? I don't know."

"Weird how?" Seungcheol pulled the shower door behind them and handed Jeonghan his loofa, pouring shower gel onto the two loofahs.

"He kept sniffing the air, and you know my office has that ventilator, and I don't scent, I keep it close, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know— turn around, let me get your back." 

Jeonghan turned, leaning against the shower wall as Seungcheol scrubbed in circles. Less to clean and more like a massage.

"I asked him to stop, said that if he would be more comfortable I could switch him to a non-pregnant member of the company but he said no, he was fine. I don't know, Alpha, I think I might ask Beta to take him."

"If that would make you more comfortable, then do it. Joshua won't mind."

Jeonghan hummed, turning and taking Seungcheol's loofah, "Let me do your back? How was your day?"

"Long. I'm so tired. I spent all morning on a database and I saved it before lunch, but when I came back it was gone, and I had saved it to the cloud, and not locally, I don't know why, but I have to redo it tomorrow, I had other things on today—"

"That's shocking, what about the support company? What did they say?"

"Couldn't find it. They think the system did an update while the file was syncing and then it got lost in the transfer or something but—"

"That's not good enough."

"Exactly. Anyway. That was work. And then there was the pack meeting."  
Jeonghan handed him back his loofah, and Seungcheol turned back around, waiting to do the rest of his scrubbing until Jeonghan settled onto the shower seat.  
"And they weren't all too pleased that you've become something of a hermit. But your Dam said that it was natural, that pregnancy hit each omega differently. But you might have to go do some visiting next week, is that okay?"

Jeonghan looked up at him, pausing. "Leave the house?" His eyes widened and Seungcheol could smell the sharp note in his scent. He’d hoped this wouldn’t be an issue.

"Yeah. I'll go with you? Or your Dam? Or Joshua—"

"I don't know, Alpha, just, what if something happens?"

"Omega," Seungcheol sighed, "What about a walk?"

"In the forest? I miss running, I miss so many things. I even miss leaving the house and doing brunch–"

"You can do brunch? Seokmin keeps asking for you when we run, and I know Seungkwan misses you too–"

"But it feels dangerous to leave the nest."

"Let's try a walk tomorrow? Just you and me."

"Okay."

Seungcheol nuzzled his crown. "Okay. And apparently Mingyu is courting—"

"What?"

"I know right? Didn't expect to hear about that at council. With the neighbouring pack. A beta woman, apparently."

"Cheeky little brat."

Seungcheol laughed, "Ready to rinse?"

"Yeah." Jeonghan hung his loofah back up and took Seungcheol's hand to stand. Seungcheol flicked on the shower and sighed under the force of the water. Nothing better than a hot shower.

Seungcheol dried off quickly and headed back into the bedroom to pull on pyjamas, before going back into the bathroom and taking the scenting cream out of the cabinet.  
"Still want a scenting?"

"Yeah. But you're tired?" Jeonghan yawned, folding his towel, tiny bump starkly big against his frame. He needed to eat more. And get out more, he was getting very pale. Damn it. Seungcheol needed to be home more. He'd talk to his boss.

"No, it's fine. Come here, up on the counter—" Jeonghan jumped half way and Seungcheol hoisted him up the rest of the way, stepping between his legs to kiss him sweetly. 

"Okay. Let's go then, before we both fall asleep, hm?" Seungcheol hummed, opening the jar and setting it by Jeonghan's hip. He went slowly, methodical as always in the amount of coverage he was getting, hitting all the scent glands, dragging jaw and wrists over them until they only smelt of him and then slathering on a layer of scent cream. Technically mated scents were supposed to smell the same— barring the dynamic undertones— but that had never happened, and instead they had a medical grade scent cream and weekly scent sessions. The further into Jeonghan's pregnancy that they got, the more regularly he needed to be scented. For his security— imagined or not— and for the babies’ growth. 

"Alpha?"

"Hm?"

"I read about scent injections. For couples like us. Do you think," Jeonghan tilted his neck, letting Seungcheol at the gland, "Do you think after the babies we could try?" 

"Is it a therapy?"

"Apparently it's once? They inject our scent into our scent glands and it melds or something? But that way we'd both smell like each other. Not, not that I don't like smelling of you—"

Seungcheol kissed his cheek, "I know. I know. I'd like to smell of you too. All done."

Jeonghan held Seungcheol's head between his hands and stared at him. "You know I love you?"

"I know."

"Good."

“We’ll look into it, alright? And we’ll ask the council what they think. Okay?” Seungcheol nuzzled Jeonghan’s palm and Jeonghan nodded. “Alright omega, back into the nest, let’s go to bed.”

•

  
Jeonghan was still asleep. Seungcheol knew this because he had his ear pressed against his belly, listening to the dual flutters of their babies heartbeats, beating split seconds after Jeonghan's own. Jeonghan said they settled when Seungcheol was near, that they relaxed, quietened. That his scent must make them feel safe and secure— Seungcheol hoped they'd stay asleep for a little while. Jeonghan needed rest, he'd been up most of the night panicking over their birth plan. The doctors were pretty confident he'd be able to give birth naturally, but Jeonghan'd woken up with nightmares— gory, vivid, terrifying disasters of labour— and it had taken two hours of scenting for him to relax. The babies kicked out against where Seungcheol had his wrist resting on Jeonghan's skin, nightshirt folded up above his bump, scent steadily wafting around them. 

"Shh, babies–" Jeonghan's hand tangled in Seungcheol's hair, scratching his scalp gently– "Morning."

"Did I wake you?"

Jeonghan rubbed at his belly with his other hand, pressing gently against where Seungcheol could see a fist or a foot. "No, this pup is in a weird position–" as he rubbed, the baby must have moved because he gasped and then relaxed. "There you go, puppy."

Only Luna herself knew how lucky Seungcheol was.

"I love you so much."

The hand Jeonghan had tangled in his hair pulled and Seungcheol moved up to kiss him. Jeonghan licked into his mouth with determination and purred. He broke the kiss to drag his cheek against Seungcheol's chin, and then pressed his nose against Seungcheol's cheek.

"Love you too."

•


	2. Episode 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April – July

Seungcheol climbed the stairs with teas and a yawn. Tuesday night and he was already exhausted. Jeonghan had been at a prenatal class that afternoon, and they'd spent dinnertime picking out furniture for the nursery. Jeonghan had said he had a surprise for him before they went asleep, and Seungcheol really hoped it wasn't sex. He didn't think he could summon the strength for that right now. Jeonghan was so so so incredibly energetic compared to a month ago, it was… it was a lot.

Jeonghan was already in bed, propped up with a mountain of pillows and cooing softly at the beans.  
"Senna just came in, say hi."

Seungcheol closed the door with his toes and padded over to put Jeonghan's tea down by his elbow.  
"Hi, beans. Hi, 'mega."

Seungcheol sank into the bed and pulled the duvet up over his head, breathing in the calm of their mixed scents and closing his eyes. It was only a Tuesday.

"Do you want your surprise?" Jeonghan ducked under the blankets to kiss his cheek, "It'll make you feel better."

"Omega, I'm tired–"

"I know, I know. But the beans can hear now. Do you want to read them a bedtime story?"

Seungcheol shot up, "Yes. Yes, of course I do— Oh my God, they can hear us? They can hear us? That means we can't–"

"They can only hear the vibrations–" Jeonghan was smiling at him in amusement, fingers gentle on his cheek as he unearthed a book from under the pillows– "But we can still read to them? It'll be like ten weeks before they respond to our voices, but they already love your scent." 

_They already love your scent._ One of these days, Seungcheol was going to straight up combust from how much he already loved these beans. He cracked open the book, 'The Owl Babies', settling closer to the bump and flicked the book open to the first page.

"Once there were three baby owls. Sarah and Percy and Bill. They lived in a hole in the trunk of a tree with their owl mother…"

•

"Alpha?"

Seungcheol leaned out of the bathroom, brushing his teeth and looked at Jeonghan. 

"Tell me I'm not fat."

"You're not."

"Alpha."

"You're not! If anything you're closer to underweight, you know the doctors weren't very pleased—"

Jeonghan threw a pillow at him and he ducked back into the bathroom.

"You look great!"

"Alpha!"

"You do!! That shirt is lovely on you! You love that shirt!"

"It doesn't close! I'm going for lunch with Shua today and nothing fits me!"

"What about the outfit you bought last week? That jumper with the stripes? And—"  
The wardrobe thunked open– "And your boots? You look great, I love you."

Seungcheol finished brushing his teeth and leaned out the door slowly. Jeonghan was lacing him his boots.  
"You look great."

"Thanks."

"If Beta says anything, I'll fight him."

"You wouldn't."

"Probably not."

Jeonghan's lips quirked up. "I'll tell him you said that."

"Your beta is terrifying when he wants to be, omega. He has this look—"  
Jeonghan hid a smile– "He does!! The night we announced our courtship he just stood there and stared at me. For like half an hour. And then he just left!"

"He's just taking care of me."

"I know. I know that."

"Beta could take you."

Seungcheol fiddled with his tie, "He could."

"He totally would, too."

"Omega."

Jeonghan grinned and stood up, pecking Seungcheol and grabbing his bag. "See you later."

"Call me if you need a lift."

"See you later!"

•

Their mid term scan had gone well, everything where it should be, babies doing what they should be doing, Jeonghan healthy, babies healthy—

Nothing that should have made Seungcheol anxious to keep his mate within his sight for a good 24 hours after the scan, but who cared? He was working four days from home — with complements of his boss — and Jeonghan didn't mind. At least, not to the point where he was annoyed by his presence.

  
"Alpha, stop staring at me."

"What? No, I'm not!" Seungcheol flicked his eyes back to his computer screen and shook his head. He had code to write. He wasn't staring.

"Um-hm."

  
"Alpha, stop staring at me."

"I'm not!" Seungcheol blinked. He definitely was. He'd sort of zoned out, thinking about the tiny beans and what type of fur they'd have. Would they be grey-silver like Seungcheol or honey like Jeonghan? Would they be omegas? Or betas? Or alphas? Seungcheol had heard of other areas where you could find out before they were born, but he'd never heard of anyone who'd known before the pups were born. 

  
"Alpha, you're still staring." Jeonghan tapped his pen and raised an eyebrow and Seungcheol shook himself.

"Sorry, sorry! Daydreaming."

"I can tell. Pups?"

"Of course."

"I keep thinking they'll be omegas."

"Yeah?" Seungcheol gave up on pretending to be working.

"Two tiny fluff balls—"

"Sharp toothed—"

"We're gonna be so badly bitten, alpha, two omegas? Like–" Jeonghan swept his eyes over Seungcheol's shoulders with a light blush– "I mean. It's not going to make much of a difference to you…"

"If they take after their dam then we may as well give up on ever having bite free shoulders ever again."

Jeonghan blushed darker and picked up his pen again, "Yeah, well."

Seungcheol pushed off his chair and squeezed Jeonghan's shoulders, "I never said I didn't like it."

"Alpha—"

"You're toothy, Jeonghan-ah, that's alright." Seungcheol nuzzled his nape and Jeonghan twisted to brush noses. 

"You knew what you were getting into."

Seungcheol grinned and kissed him softly, "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

Jeonghan's scent sweetened and he leaned up to kiss him again. "Such a well bitten alpha you are."

"Your well bitten alpha."

"All mine."

•

Seungcheol was flat on his back, panting— Jeonghan wasn't in heat, this wasn't fair. Jeonghan swung a leg over his waist and huffed.  
"Don't you like me, alpha?"

"Omega, I adore you, I just don't have this sort of stamina—"

"You do!"

"When you're in heat, sweetheart, you're not—"

"What are you saying?" Jeonghan's nails were awfully sharp and Seungcheol gulped.

"Nothing, sweetheart, nothing. Just… Let's maybe take a break?"

Jeonghan started to cry and Seungcheol cursed, using the remainder of his strength to sit up and pull the omega close— he nipped Seungcheol's scent gland with a hiccough.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"I just–" Jeonghan hiccoughed– "I just want you~"

And moon above did that make Seungcheol pleased. "I know you do sweetheart. And you have me, you do, I just need a minute."

Jeonghan lapped at his scent gland for a few moments. Seungcheol rubbed his back, Jeonghan's bump pressing against his abdomen — shit, the babies.

"Are you sure they can't tell?"

Jeonghan pulled away, "The beans? No, they can't. And they like your scent anyway, it's good for them, alpha, and you smell so strong—" the 'when we have sex' got cut off as Jeonghan eased off his lap and dashed to the bathroom. 

Seungcheol fell back into the pillows. It was only week 15. How was he supposed to survive this trimester?

  
Jeonghan came back in with a sigh and Seungcheol tugged him back into his lap, leaning back against the headboard.  
"Talk to me."

"I'm heat horny all the time, and I don't smell enough like you," Jeonghan leaned back against his chest and joined their hands on his bump, rubbing in slow circles. "And I'm massive."

"You're not, you really aren't. You're just showing more cause we're having twins, hm? You're really neat."

Jeonghan whined quietly, his head tilting to expose his neck, linking his hands through Seungcheol's tightly and Seungcheol pressed a kiss to his nape and pressed his teeth against his scent gland, holding in a mimicry of their mating bite.

Jeonghan went boneless, purring with an intensity that Seungcheol could feel through his teeth. Seungcheol pressed lightly for a bit and then Jeonghan tilted his head back to kiss him, holding him close and purring into his mouth.

"Better?"

"Loads."

"Why don't you—" Seungcheol pushed Jeonghan onto the bed and slipped down a bit, "lie back and let me eat you out?"

Jeonghan settled back into the pillows with a grin, one hand on his bump — Luna how Seungcheol adored him.

"Alpha~"

"Omega~"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

•

"We are _not_ going to a studio."

"What do you mean? Mingyu-ya said he'd take the photos–" Jeonghan took a step back– "Alpha. Calm down. They're just photos."

"Of the bump."

"Of me. And of you. And of the bump. Yes."

"No."

"What do you mean 'No'? I want pregnancy photos! For the album, for the wall—"

"That's fine, but we're not going to a studio."

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"'Cause you're pregnant." Seungcheol didn't really want to—

"Mingyu's not going to touch me! He's courting! And he wouldn't anyway! I'm pregnant—"

"We'll do them at home."

"Seungcheol-ah, you're being weird."

Seungcheol softened. "I'm sorry, I just don't want anyone looking at you like that."

"Like what? Through a lens to make sure I'm in focus? Don't be so—"

"You bite me all the time, can't I have this one thing?"

"Alpha~"

"Omega~"

Jeonghan sighed and crossed the room to lean against Seungcheol, the heel of his left hand rubbing over the top of his bump, "What is it?"

"Your scent, omega, it's your scent. And the fact that they're so small and delicate—"

"Nothing is going to happen to the beans, alpha, they're safe. I won't let anything happen to them."

Seungcheol buried his nose into Jeonghan's hair with a sigh, "I know that. I know. And it's not like Mingyu isn't just a big pup—"

"Don't let him hear you say that."

"I won't, I won't, but he's an _alpha_ , baby, and can we please just do them ourselves?"

There was silence for a while, nothing but the ticking of the clock, the steady rise and fall of Jeonghan's breath and, if Seungcheol strained his ears, the slightest flutter of the beans' heartbeats. 

"Can we at least borrow Mingyu's camera?"

Seungcheol wrapped his arms around Jeonghan and nodded, "Of course. I'll get him to teach me."

"Alright–" Jeonghan nodded– "Alright."

  
They draped white sheets from the picture rail in the living room and cleared back the furniture — well, Seungcheol cleared back the furniture while Jeonghan directed from the doorway.

  
"Ten minutes. I promise I'll have it set up in ten minutes."

"Cheol-ah, it's nearly 8 pm. I want to have a bath. You said ten minutes an hour ago. Just let me—"

"I can do it! Mingyu-ya taught me! I swear I know how to do it." Seungcheol kneeled down and clicked open the settings menu again and Jeonghan left the room.

  
"I'm running the bath!" 

Seungcheol sighed at the camera. It flickered back at him. Mockingly. "Okay!"

  
Jeonghan dug his chin into Seungcheol's shoulder, "Alpha, let me do it."

"I can—"

"Babe. It's literally been hours, my bath is ready. Let me do it."

Seungcheol turned and let Jeonghan in at the camera. He pressed a few buttons — the very same ones that Seungcheol had pressed! — and then a timer appeared on the screen.

"Right, let's go."

"How was it that easy?" 

Jeonghan threw his bathrobe out of shot and turned to better showcase the bump. "Because technology likes me."

"I _work_ in technology!" Seungcheol closed his eyes briefly and buried his face in Jeonghan's hair, breathing in the coconut shampoo that Jeonghan had started using.

Jeonghan leaned back against him, "Well. Nothing I can do about that. Come on, I set it for a burst of photos. We can move a bit."

  
Jeonghan reset the camera and Seungcheol knelt down in front of him to interlace their fingers around the bump. The beans kicked out against his fingers and Seungcheol looked up at Jeonghan in awe. Every single time it got him. It never got old. And Jeonghan looked fantastic. Hair getting longer and strands of it falling down around his face, glowing — Seungcheol had thought that was just movie stuff but he was actually glowing. Radiant. 

Besotted. They were both already besotted.

He couldn't wait to meet the beans.

•

Seungcheol winced and rubbed Jeonghan's back slowly, "Alright?" Jeonghan had his teeth in his shoulder. Probably a nightmare. "Everything's alright." He reached back to switch on the light and kept rubbing Jeonghan's back slowly. 

Jeonghan slipped his teeth out and licked over the incision, slowly at first and then frantic when nothing—

"What is it?"

"I can't close it–"

"We have—"

"But I should be able to!" 

Seungcheol tugged Jeonghan closer and opened the side drawer for a plaster, "You're pregnant, they said that your saliva would be shitty for a while—"

Jeonghan burst into tears and Seungcheol fumbled the plaster, sticking it down and wrapping both arms around Jeonghan, rumbling loudly.

"It's alright, I promise, everything is okay. It's–" he looked over to Jeonghan's side table– "four am. You just had a nightmare, it was only a nightmare."

Jeonghan shook his head and pressed his nose tighter into Seungcheol's scent gland and took big gulping breaths.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I want to run."

"You—"

"I know I can't. I just want to run, Alpha, I want to run."

Seungcheol nuzzled his cheek, wrists dripping with scent, running one slowly over the curve of Jeonghan's bump. "I know, sweetheart–"

"Bring the pups for a run—" Jeonghan inhaled slowly and leaned back, nearly falling backwards but for Seungcheol's hand on his spine– "Can't wait."

"Me neither."

•

Jeonghan had wanted to give birth at home, in the nest, Seungcheol near by, his Dam downstairs in case he needed her, but—

"I strongly advise you to give birth in the hospital for your first pregnancy, Jeonghan. Especially with twins. You'll be closer to medical attention if anything was to go wrong, and we can make you as comfortable as possible."

"I really want to give birth at home, Doctor."

The doctor nodded, putting down his pen. "I know you do. And you will. Just not this time."

Jeonghan turned his head and gripped Seungcheol's hand. Seungcheol held back tightly. He'd prefer Jeonghan at home in the nest too, but if it would be safer…

"Can we see the birthing suites?"

"Of course. Absolutely. I'll show you myself."

  
"They're so… clinical."

"The idea isn't that you nest here, Jeonghan, not at all. We'll have you home as fast as we possibly can. Given that there are no complications, you could be home, nesting, as soon as three hours after the birth."

Jeonghan nodded. "Right. Okay. If it'll be safer."

"It will be."

"Alright."

  
Jeonghan was quiet the whole way home.

  
Seungcheol tugged him close that evening while they were watching tea and ran his wrist across Jeonghan's bump.

"Talk to me."

"It's silly, I just really wanted to have the beans in the nest. Surrounded by us, you know?"

Seungcheol nodded and Jeonghan twisted up to drag his cheek against Seungcheol's chin. "I just feel like a failure." The words were whispered and Seungcheol hugged him tight.

"Absolutely not. Absolutely not, how could you think that, baby?"

"Just—"

"You're carrying twins. It's your first pregnancy. They just want to be careful, it's not a reflection on you, not at all."

Jeonghan nodded, turning and planting himself on top of Seungcheol. "Alpha~"

Seungcheol rubbed his back softly, "It's alright, it's alright."

Jeonghan burst into tears, pressed against Seungcheol's collarbone and Seungcheol held him tight. He wanted them safe. He knew Jeonghan wanted the same.

  
"Why do they say nest is best if they want me in the hospital?"

"They're just being careful—"

"They'll be safer here, here–"

"And they will be, love, they will. We'll bring them home as soon as we can, alright? And you can have visitors if you want? Your dam can come stay? Beta can come stay?"

Jeonghan dragged his cheek across Seungcheol's jaw before twisting and tugging one of the blankets down on top of them. "I'm a mess."

"You're not." Seungcheol's disagreement was immediate.

Jeonghan peered at him, "Don't lie."

"I'm not!"

"I'm a mess. But it's alright, I'm pregnant. Now, can we rewind the TV? Because I missed that whole argument."

Seungcheol handed him the remote and kissed his forehead, tucking the blanket tight around them. "Everything's gonna be fine love. You'll be back in the nest as soon as possible."

•

  
"She touched me!"

"What? Who touched you?"

"Your sister in law, she stepped right up to me and touched my bump and asked how far along I was!" Jeonghan stepped slightly behind Seungcheol as they walked into the dining room after his siblings. "I told you we shouldn't have come."

Seungcheol linked their fingers together. "It's the June full moon. We always have dinner with my family for the June full moon."

Jeonghan tugged Seungcheol closer just before they stepped into the room and pressed his nose against Seungcheol's mating gland. "If she touches me again, I'll bite her."

"I'll talk to her."

"She has pups, she should know."

"I know, I know—"

"When can we go home?"

"After dinner."

Jeonghan sighed. He'd only agreed after a lot of begging on Seungcheol's behalf, but the Chois always celebrated summer with a June full moon feast. All courtships were announced at the feast, new pups were properly welcomed at the feast, it was important. Seungcheol couldn't just not go, and his mate certainly couldn't stay at home without a reasonable excuse, and since Jeonghan was still working, and had taken to going out for lunch every Friday with Joshua, and to visiting his dam on Tuesday afternoons, nobody would let him get away with the excuse of pregnancy paranoia that he'd given in February at his parents' anniversary dinner. 

Seungcheol pressed his wrists to the sides of Jeonghan's neck and brushed their noses together softly. "It'll be alright. It'll be alright."

  
It was fine. Jeonghan bared his teeth at anyone who even looked at his bump, wrist protectively settled on top of it for most of the evening — if not his wrist, Seungcheol's wrist — but other than that, the evening was lovely. 

Seungcheol's eldest niece announced her courtship, his cousin brought their newest addition, a tiny betaling, and his aunt finally introduced them to her newest pet.

Their beans would have lots of cousins too, two of his siblings' mates were expecting — not until January, unlike their beans who were due in September.

Jeonghan was drowsy by the time they took their leave, curled against Seungcheol on the couch, purring under his breath and trying to stay awake. Seungcheol's dam came over to brush his wrist against both of their foreheads.

"Go home, you two."

"Dam—"

"You've been here much longer than I would ever have managed. Thank you for coming, Jeonghan-ah, it's lovely to see you. Go home and go to bed. Both of you."

Jeonghan blinked up at him with a smile, "Thanks."

"Safe home."

They untangled slowly, rubbing their thumbs over their wrists until the scent slowed from where they'd both been letting it ooze out onto Jeonghan's bump — part habit and part ritual – and Seungcheol pulled Jeonghan up with him, waving their goodbyes to everyone and slowly walking home. 

  
•

Seungcheol sighed, "Joshua! Where are you?"

"You don't need to call him!"

"Sweetheart, you're going to fall over something—"

"I'm pregnant, not an invalid!" Jeonghan hissed and Seungcheol held up his hands.

"I know, I know, I just, what if something falls on you? Or you trip over one of the guys? Or someone knocks into you?"

"I just want to make sure you do it right!"

Joshua hurried into the soon-to-be nursery and took in the situation with a glance. "Jeonghan? Come on downstairs, you wanted to go through a catalogue?"

"Beta, not now, I need to make sure—"

Joshua rubbed his back. "Need or want?"

Jeonghan huffed. He glared at Seungcheol. "If you mess this up—"

"I promise I won't."

"If the boys mess this up—" Jeonghan hissed and Joshua rolled his eyes.

"Stop that, omega. They all adore you. This is the first baby from all of our friends, can you imagine any of them messing up? On purpose?"

"Gyu-ya is a—"

"Gentle giant."

"Minnie—"

"Would sooner cut off his tail than upset you. Come on, let’s go look through the catalogue and you can have tea, hm?"

Jeonghan gave one last glare to Seungcheol, baring his teeth slightly, before turning and waddling out ahead of Joshua.

Seungcheol thunked his head back against the wall. He loved him, he adored him, but sometimes—

Jeonghan had fallen asleep on the couch, head in Joshua's lap, their wrists both pressed to his bump.

"Comfortable?" Seungcheol leaned on the back of the couch and Joshua looked up from his book with a smile.

"I am, yeah. Done?"

"For today."

"When was your last doctor's visit? For the babies?"

"Two weeks ago?"

"Try and get him to go again? He's—"

"Exhausted, I know. He's always tired, it's sort of scary, but the doctors say it's the twins."

"Not long now."

"Just two months, I can't believe it."

"Instincts are acting up too?"

"Both of us. His more than mine, but not by much."

Jeonghan cracked open an eye, "You're like granddams you know."

Seungcheol leaned down and kissed him, lightening fast, "Mm."

"Beta, can't it be your duty as Selene-to-be to carry these beans for me?"

"Can't do that Hannie, sorry!" Joshua laughed and Jeonghan nodded.

"Useless."

"Hey! I am not!"

"Useless beta."

"Omega." Seungcheol tutted and Jeonghan sighed. 

"Both of you, useless. I want them out. I'm a whale. I sleep nearly 16 hours a day, and I bite Seungcheol so much we've run out of bandages. Cause my saliva isn't working properly. I thought I was supposed to glow."

"You do glow," Joshua soothed. "Not long now, and you'll be holding them, fobbing them off on me, hm?"

"Hey, that's your job, keep me sane."

"Hm." Joshua grinned and Jeonghan closed his eyes again.

"Did you finish the nursery?"

"Not exactly."

"I knew it."

"Gyu is making dinner, though."

Jeonghan opened his eyes again and Joshua hummed curiously, "What is he making?"

"I don't know, but maybe he'll finally tell us about his mate-to-be—"

"That puppy."

"Omega~"

"What, I'm pregnant now, I get to say things like that."

Seungcheol shook his head and leaned down to kiss him again. "I'm gonna shower. Go back to your nap."

"Yes alpha, thank you alpha." Jeonghan muttered and Joshua laughed.

"Throw me a blanket?"

Seungcheol nodded and tucked one around Joshua's shoulders before disappearing back up the stairs. A full house was a happy house.

•

  
Jeonghan screamed. 

The loud, piercing noise ripped through the house and Seungcheol froze. He dropped the tray of mugs and glasses, cold tea and water splashing up onto the walls, the banisters, his trousers — the tray clattered down the stairs. Running down the stairs, Seungcheol careened around the wall into the kitchen and dove to his knees in front of Jeonghan.

“Omega! What is it? Are you okay? Is it the babies?”

Jeonghan’s hands were shaking, he was bent over, staying blindly ahead of himself, barely breathing.

“Jeonghan? Omega, love—”

Jeonghan lowered his gaze slowly, eyes empty. He drew in a shaky, dry breath. “They’re gone.”

Seungcheol pressed his palms to the side of Jeonghan’s stomach, listening, focusing carefully, senses wide open, he couldn’t hear a — there was a heartbeat. One — Jeonghan’s. Two. Faint but steady. He listened for the third, wanting desperately for Jeonghan to be wrong for him not to have lost one of their pups, but no. Nothing.

“There’s a heartbeat, there’s a heartbeat. I can hear one.”

“Failed you.” Jeonghan’s voice cracked, Seungcheol looked up at him. Tears were rolling down his face and he was ashen.

“You haven’t, you haven’t—”

“Can’t even give you a pup—”

“Omega, listen, can’t you hear it?”

Jeonghan shook his head and ripped through his shirt with suddenly sharp nails, eyes unseeing, He kept scraping, red lines rising on his skin, and Seungcheol caught his fingers gently.

“You’re still pregnant. I promise you I can hear a heartbeat that isn’t yours. You’re still carrying a pup. Please don’t do that.”

“Need them out, I need them out, I need to hold them, Alpha, I need to hold them—” Jeonghan broke off into a wail, the cry of anguish setting the hairs on the back of Seungcheol’s neck on end. 

Seungcheol pressed Jeonghan’s arms behind his back carefully, heart in his mouth. Never in a million years had he imagined he’d have to do this to his mate. But he did it. He held him so that he couldn’t react, nipped his mating gland so that he wouldn’t react, and crying, picked him up carefully.

"Everything's going to be okay." 

Everything had to be okay. 

•


	3. Episode 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> July 16th – August 10th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may note that I have added tags, don't worry. Tag adding may happen as we go along.  
> R x

*

"Seungcheol-ah? I have eyes on your mate." Seungcheol's brother didn't bother with niceties over the phone and Seungcheol closed his eyes.

"Thank the moon." Jeonghan had disappeared from hospital moments after the doctors had left.

"Yeah, he's gone to Joshua Hong's house."

Seungcheol sank onto the bench in the hospital waiting room and exhaled shakily, "That's good, that's good. He's his beta."

"He'll help then. Seungcheol-ah, what did the doctors say?"

"He'll deliver the second pup and after that they say he has weeks if not days."

"Shit. That's not fair—"

"Hyung, I can't lose the two of them."

"I know, I know. We'll look into it, all of us, alright? We'll all help. Anything we can do. Any of us."

Seungcheol nodded and pressed his forehead to his knees, "I don't want to lose them."

"Of course you don't."

*

The doctors had stared at him when he'd asked if he could bite his mate. 

"Will it hurt the pup?"

"No. No, but your mate will be—"

"He has a chance of surviving if I do this. It's been done."

"You have to be careful. If we think—"

"I'll allow any check-ups, any monitoring. I just want my mate to live. I want my pup to have a dam."

*

Joshua had almost attacked him when he knocked on the door, attention clearly entirely on the omega inside. Seungcheol didn't blame him.

"It's been four days, where the hell have you been?"

"I promise I won't hurt him. I think this will help."

"Seungcheol," Joshua's voice was steady, "he's dying."

"Not if I can help it he isn't."

"He reeks of it."

Seungcheol nodded and Joshua exhaled, turning sharply to catch sight of Jeonghan before turning back to Seungcheol, his eyes were completely ringed in black. 

"You've been tunnelled? The whole time?"

Joshua only nodded, blinking rapidly. Shit. If Seungcheol messed this up he was ruining all three of their lives. He'd known they were close, but for Joshua to tunnel…

"Seungcheol. If you think this will help—" Joshua motioned behind him and Seungcheol bowed shallowly before scooting past him, straight towards Jeonghan.

  
Seungcheol sunk his teeth into Jeonghan's neck and held them there. He ignored Joshua's scream and Jeonghan's tears, ignored everything else but the pulse of Jeonghan's heart. Ignored everything else but the slowly sweetening scent of his mate. Ignored everything but the heartbeat of their pup that he could finally hear.

  
It was only when Jeonghan's scent changed completely, started to bloom a little, started to smell like he was alive and less like he was a corpse, that Seungcheol let go, slipping his teeth free with a snick and licking up as much of the blood as he could.

"Don't you ever do that again. You terrified me. You can't just leave hospital."

Jeonghan only looked at him.

"You need to trust me, love, I would never—"

"Alpha~" Jeonghan's voice was wrecked and Seungcheol let him nuzzle as close as he could, bump keeping him from folding himself into Seungcheol like he smelled like he wanted to. Tears soaked his skin, blood soaked his collar. Seungcheol hadn't stopped growling since he'd seen him — a quiet, dominant, 'don't challenge me' growl — but as Jeonghan's scent had picked up, the growl had gentled, bleeding into a rumble, reverberating through Jeonghan's body — he could feel the pup kicking and Jeonghan hiccoughed, pulling back to touch his stomach, eyes wide.

"Alpha, the baby?"

"I felt it, sweetheart."

Jeonghan cradled his bump carefully, tears streaming down his cheeks, sobbing — it wasn't unheard of for a baby to go silent. Especially after a trauma. Especially when their sire wasn't around. Jeonghan tried to purr, and it hurt Seungcheol's heart to hear him fail, the noise coming out strangled and choked. 

Seungcheol dropped carefully to his knees and pressed his hands below Jeonghan's, rumbling softly. Doing what Jeonghan couldn't.

  
Joshua slapped him hard across the face when they finally separated enough for him to get close.

"You said you weren't going to hurt him! And how dare you not give me a heads up — I thought you were going to rip his throat out for losing you a pup—" the beta was shaking and Seungcheol carefully guided him into a hug.

"Absolutely not."

"You're lucky I trust you."

"Shua~" Jeonghan's voice was broken and Joshua pulled away from Seungcheol to wrap the omega in a tight embrace.

"Stop scaring me. Both of you, stop scaring me. I'll move in with you both if I have to, you are not allowed to scare me anymore. Jeonghannie~" Joshua broke off, sobbing and Seungcheol pulled them both close.

  
“Beta?” Jeonghan’s voice was as shaky and as unsure as Seungcheol had ever heard it, but he refrained from saying anything, letting Joshua answer.

“Omega?”

“Scared,” Jeonghan lowered his voice, “You need to carry them.”

“Omega, there’s only one left. And I can’t carry the pup for you, I told you that,” Joshua brushed tears off Jeonghan’s cheeks, “If I could, you know I would.”

“Please? Please, beta, beta, please?” Jeonghan was sobbing now, trying to keep his voice quiet, as if Seungcheol wasn’t a hair’s breadth away, as if he couldn’t hear every word.

“My love, I can’t carry your baby. I’m so sorry, I would if I could,” Joshua was crooning, quiet and steady, trying to reassure, trying to support, but Jeonghan was just breaking apart. 

“Baby needs a dam, beta.”

“Baby has a dam, my love. And I’m no omega,” Joshua flicked his eyes up to meet Seungcheol’s. “I can’t carry the baby, I’m sorry. I’ll help with everything else?”

“Omega,” Seungcheol rumbled into Jeonghan’s ear, running his palm over his hip slowly, “Do you want Joshua to move in? To help? Do you want your beta near?” He knew what he was doing. Knew what Jeonghan was doing, by begging for that. Knew what Joshua was offering by saying that. Knew what his reaction should be, but he just wanted Jeonghan alive, healthy, sane. And Joshua had tunnelled for this omega, for this pup, it wasn't as if there wasn't love there.

“Alpha?” 

Seungcheol kissed Jeonghan’s cheek gently, looking at Joshua. “Do you?”

“Omega?” Joshua asked when Jeonghan didn’t answer, brushing more tears away and thumbing the bite mark on Jeonghan’s neck, more intimate than Seungcheol should have ever allowed. “Do you want me to move in?”

“Can you carry the pup then?”

Joshua met Seungcheol’s eyes again, heart visibly breaking, “No, no my love, no I can’t. I can carry you, if you need me to. I can help. I’ll be there. If you want me.”

Jeonghan twisted, looking at Seungcheol, searching his eyes, scent flat. “Cheol-ah?”

“Of course.” There was no of course about it. Seungcheol should have said absolutely not but the alternative was no pup and no mate and he couldn’t just let Jeonghan die. Not when there was a chance this way that he’d live.

“Yes, please, beta, Shua, please—”

Joshua closed the remaining gap between them and kissed Jeonghan slowly, humming in pitch with Seungcheol’s rumble until something that resembled a purr fluttered out of Jeonghan — it wasn’t, but it was close enough. He had his palm flat against Jeonghan’s scent gland, pressure that allowed the wound to slowly stop bleeding, pressure that Seungcheol wouldn’t have offered it, pressure that meant that everything had just changed. Jeonghan gasped into the kiss and Seungcheol pressed his lips against his cheek, hands on both of their hips now, holding steady.

Four heartbeats.

*

Jeonghan woke up thrashing.

“Be good for us, my love,” Joshua crooned softly, “it’s okay, listen to me, you’re okay.”

Jeonghan cried and cried, and Joshua guided him as close as his bump would allow, wincing as Jeonghan’s teeth pierced his shoulder, but rubbing his back gently and trying to calm him with his scent.

Seungcheol came back into the bedroom — the nest really — with a cup of warm milk, setting it down on the locker. “How is he?”

Joshua shook his head and Seungcheol nodded, kneeling onto the bed carefully and rubbing Jeonghan’s back.

“Hey omega. Do you want to talk about it?”

Jeonghan pulled away from Joshua, pausing to lick and try to get the bite to close, but after several frantic minutes he couldn’t — he turned to whine at Seungcheol, tears falling from his eyes, desperation etched into every line of his body.

Seungcheol leaned over and licked it closed, brushing away Jeonghan’s tears. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay.”

Jeonghan pressed his fingernails against his bump, keening high and loud and Joshua pulled his fingers away, holding his hands softly.

“Omega-love, don’t do that.”

“Beta, promise me—”

Joshua’s eyes flicked up to Seungcheol.

“—promise me you’ll take care of the pup.” Jeonghan whispered and Joshua nuzzled his neck.

“I promise. I promise I will.”

“And take care of Alpha?”

“I will.”

“Promise.”

“I promise I will.”

Jeonghan nodded and relaxed a fraction, scent plummeting as he tilted his neck towards Seungcheol. “Alpha? I was bad.”

“Omega-sweetheart, that’s not why I’m biting you.”

“Why?”

“I want you alive, love.”

“I want to die. I want to be with my pup.”

“But you have a pup here darling, you have a pup here,” Seungcheol pressed his palms gently against Jeonghan’s bump, “Can’t you feel them?”

“Failed.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.” Jeonghan nodded, eyes closing, tears seeping down his face and Seungcheol sighed. Joshua held Jeonghan carefully and Seungcheol sunk his teeth into Jeonghan’s mating gland, holding tight as the omega shivered and keened and cried and sobbed but his scent stabilised.

Seungcheol slipped his teeth free and Joshua bit down into the bite. Jeonghan wailed, clinging to him tightly and Joshua’s tears rolled onto Jeonghan’s skin. He pulled back and licked the bite clean, pressing a square of muslin to it and holding it there.

“I’m sorry love, but we need you to live. Can you do that for us?”

Dazed, Jeonghan nodded. He curled into Joshua’s neck and breathed shallowly. Seungcheol wiped away his own tears, rumbling to try and reassure them all. Joshua and Seungcheol ran their wrists along Jeonghan’s bump, the two of their scents bleeding out into the room, steady.

*

Jeonghan woke up shaking, Joshua reached for him but he jerked back, shaking and dragging the sheet up over his shoulders and twisting to stare at Seungcheol.

"I. We were supposed to have two pups. We saw them in the scan, they were so so small–" Jeonghan hauled himself out of the nest and Seungcheol reached to steady him– "Two pups, alpha."

"It's not your fault, omega."

"No," Jeonghan agreed, "It's yours."

"It's nobody's fault, Jeonghan—"

"If you'd been a stronger alpha. If you'd been more. If you'd been home more, MAYBE I'D STILL HAVE TWO!"

"Omega, it's not anybody's fault, things just—"

"THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON!" Jeonghan screamed and Seungcheol took a hurried step backwards, "AND IF IT'S NOT MY FAULT-" he inhaled on a sob– "if it's not my fault then it has to be yours."

"I swear on my life I didn't do anything to put any of you in danger." Seungcheol whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks and Jeonghan threw himself at him.

Seungcheol caught him, holding him tightly and whispering promises and apologies into his hair as Jeonghan fought against him.

"It's your fault! It's your fault it has to be your fault, I didn't hurt them, I'd never hurt them–" Jeonghan started to cry– "I swear I didn't do anything wrong, I did everything I was supposed to, I did, I promise I did—"

"I know you did–" Seungcheol pressed their cheeks together briefly before tucking his nose against Jeonghan's scent gland, hugging him tightly– "You didn't do anything wrong, I know, I know."

"I'd never hurt a pup." Jeonghan whispered, drained, and Seungcheol nodded, kissing at his shoulder softly.

The pup kicked. Hard enough that Joshua could almost see it, but Jeonghan's reaction was enough. Wide eyes, soaring scent, hands going straight down to cradle his bump. 

"Hi little bean, did I upset you? I'm sorry, Damma's not been feeling great lately." Jeonghan stepped back to the nest, leaning against Joshua and running his wrist over his belly button.

Joshua reached for one of the blankets, draping it over Jeonghan's lap when he shivered, and Jeonghan leaned heavier against him.

"Beta," Jeonghan reached for his wrist to press it against his bump, "please."

"Of course." Joshua let his scent bleed out, seeping through the thin fabric of Jeonghan's nightshirt to lie against his skin. The bean kicked softly, and Jeonghan winced, twisting until he was nearly entirely in Joshua's lap and the baby's foot slipped away from wherever it had been.

"Alpha?"

Seungcheol crossed the room quickly, wiping his tears and joining their wrists with his own.

"I'm sorry." Jeonghan whispered, linking his little finger with Seungcheol's own and Seungcheol nodded, pressing his forehead to Jeonghan's shoulder, shoulders shaking.

"I love you so much, I would never—"

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I love you."

*

Jeonghan woke up crying. He bent forwards to curve over his bump and cry, loud, heavy, corpse-wracking sobs and Joshua rubbed his back sleepily. 

"Beta?"

"Yeah–" Joshua made as if to sit up but Jeonghan turned to tuck himself into his side.

"Can't lose this one too."

"You're not going to. Promise."

"How can you promise that?"

Joshua kissed his forehead and tugged up the duvet. "Doctors don't think you will."

"What if I do?"

Joshua crooned softly, "You won't."

"But if I do?"

"You're not going to." 

"But if I do?"

How to say that there'd be nothing for any of them to do? How to say that whatever about surviving the loss of one pup, an omega would never survive the loss of two. How to say that the thought of it made Joshua want to hold his breathe and never let it out.

"We'll deal with that if it happens. Which it won't." Seungcheol murmured from Jeonghan's other side and Jeonghan nodded, reaching out to link fingers with him.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

*

Jeonghan woke up slowly, blinking confusedly at Joshua, "Beta?"

"Yeah, it's me, Joshua."

"What are you doing here?"

Joshua blinked, "I'm helping out for a bit."

"Why?"

"You've not been well."

Jeonghan looked at him, mulling that over and nodded, "And Alpha?"

"He's downstairs."

Jeonghan looked at Joshua's shoulders, "My teeth?"

Joshua nodded and Jeonghan shifted into an upright position, eyes widening and staring down—

"I'm pregnant?"

Joshua touched his wrist gently, "Yes you are. Not long to go now."

Jeonghan stared at him, "I don't remember."

"You've not been well." Joshua reiterated and held his breath, but Jeonghan just nodded.

"Need to wash my teeth."

Joshua stared at him. 

"Beta, help me up."

Joshua shook himself and wrapped an arm around Jeonghan's back carefully, helping him up onto his feet and Jeonghan leaned heavily against him, unsteady. Joshua wasn't surprised. He had mainly been sleeping.

In the bathroom Jeonghan caught sight of his neck. "Beta?"

Joshua blinked back tears, "You've really not been well, my love."

"Alpha?"

"And me."

Jeonghan met his eyes in the mirror, "And you?"

Joshua could only nod, and Jeonghan dropped his eyes to Joshua's collar. "Alpha never minded that I bit you."

"Didn't he?"

"Seem to have gone a bit mad this time. I'm sorry."

"Nothing worse than Uni." Jeonghan and Joshua had taken the same major and they'd been roommates, and Jeonghan's stress reaction had always been to bite Joshua. Never anything serious, just tiny nibbles here and there, normal omega stress reactions, but four concentrated years of the same habit had sort of made Joshua immune, fond but unphased.

"Looks worse than uni."

"Proportionate."

Jeonghan rinsed out his mouth and turned to look at him slowly. "Did something terrible happen?"

Joshua blinked back tears and nodded, "Yes." Any moment now and Jeonghan would remember. It seemed to take longer each time.

"Did I lose a pup?"

Joshua could only nod, terrified as to how Jeonghan would react this time but he just nodded, reaching out to hold Joshua's hands tightly.

"How long?"

"Three weeks."

"That's why I'm bitten?"

"Alpha thinks it'll help."

Jeonghan nodded and hissed out a breathe. "As Selene—"

Joshua stepped close to Jeonghan and hid his face in his shoulder, "I can't carry the pup. I'm sorry, I can't carry the pup."

"I know, beta, I know."

Joshua didn't expect to feel Jeonghan's teeth piercing the skin just above—

"Omega!" Seungcheol shouted from the doorway and Jeonghan froze. He snapped out of it and stared at Joshua in horror, reaching to cup his neck and Joshua exhaled.

"Omega, please."

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—" Jeonghan inhaled– "I wasn't thinking, I didn't—"

Seungcheol ran his hands lightly over Jeonghan's shoulders, "It's alright, you were scared."

Jeonghan twisted his head to look at him, aghast, "Of beta? Never of beta."

Joshua crooned under his breath, focus splintering between them with each inhale, and Jeonghan snapped his head back around, looking at him carefully.

"Beta tunnelled?"

"Weeks ago." Seungcheol's murmur was quiet, Joshua could hardly hear it. 

Jeonghan moved his hands from Joshua's neck to his shoulders, rubbing his thumbs over his collarbones, "Beta? Beta."

"Omega?"

"I'm okay. You can relax now."

"I'm fine, it's nothing—"

Seungcheol rumbled gently as he reached around Jeonghan to settle his thumb against Joshua's scent gland and press against it. "It's okay if you're not."

Joshua closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at either of them, breath catching in his throat. There wasn't space for him to not be okay. Jeonghan was so unwell, they still didn't know if he'd make it past the birth, he kept waking them up with screams and sobs and he couldn't keep his nails short— 

Jeonghan pressed against Joshua's heart tapping against his chest with his fingers. "Breathe, beta. Breathe in. Listen to Alpha's breath, breathe out. You can do it. In like that, that's it."

The pup kicked incessantly, but Jeonghan didn't react, staying pressed against him, Joshua could feel the kicks and he focused on them. On the pup. 

His breathing evened out and Jeonghan hugged him tightly, murmuring something into his shoulder, and Joshua all but collapsed into him. Seungcheol managed to keep them both standing, mostly. The bathroom counter helped a fair bit.

Jeonghan kissed Joshua's jaw, absent quick affection, turning to reach for Seungcheol when he stepped back. "Alpha—"

"I'm just going to get the tea I was making. Two minutes, promise."

Jeonghan nodded, and turned to nose back in against Joshua's neck, nipping lightly along his shoulder. "Don't pretend you don't need help."

"You're so much worse—"

"Doesn't mean you have to be 100%."

"Omega, you're so—"

"Don't throw everything away for me, beta."

Joshua clutched the back of Jeonghan's robe, as if he hadn't. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? How long have you been tunnelling without asking for help?"

"We were—"

"Alpha could have taken two minutes to help you, beta, please."

Joshua just huffed and held Jeonghan tight, not wanting to have to let go, but Jeonghan didn't move as if to make him, and when Seungcheol returned, they just relocated back into the nest, curled tight together, all three of them. Tea cooling on the side table, forgotten amidst Seungcheol's steady rumble and stable scent, Jeonghan's quiet cooing to the pup, and Joshua's slowly relaxing breathing.

*

Jeonghan woke up screaming. Seungcheol caught his arms carefully, hushing him.

“You’re okay, I’m here, everything’s going to be okay.”

“Pup, pup’s gone, alpha, alpha, need to get him out—”

“No, not yet, pup's not ready yet, love." Seungcheol brushed his thumbs over Jeonghan's nails, "A few more days, I promise.”

Joshua hurried back in from the bathroom with a cool cloth, pressing it to Jeonghan’s forehead gently. “You’re okay, my love.”

“I can’t do this.”

“You can. We’ll help.”

“I can’t do this. Alpha, Beta, I can’t.” Jeonghan sighed.

“You can, my love.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You must, omega, you must.”

Joshua hummed quietly until Jeonghan opened his eyes, “You’re going to have a pup soon. Don’t you want to meet the pup?”

Jeonghan turned into Seungcheol’s side and nodded, tears running down his cheeks, “Yeah.”

“You’ve got to be strong for us then, hm? 

Jeonghan nodded reluctantly and exhaled. Seungcheol bit him gently, holding until his scent blossomed slightly, Joshua holding him still. The pup punched out and Jeonghan pressed his wrist against the fist, tears slipping down his cheeks — only to be wiped away by Joshua.

“So good for us, you’re so good for us, breathe—” Seungcheol nuzzled his nose and then Joshua pulled his teeth out of Jeonghan’s neck, laving and licking and pressing a bandage to it to help the bleeding stop.

Jeonghan whined and rubbed over his bump with a wince. “Soon?”

“Yeah, any day now, love.”

*

  
  
"Beta?" The brown haired scentless nurse popped her head out of the room and Joshua stood.

"That's me, is everything alright?"

"You've been called for, come on in."

Joshua hurried through the door, and the nurse let it close after him, as another nurse rocked what must be their pup? Joshua looked for Jeonghan, he was looking at him. He looked exhausted and pale against the green of the hospital gown, looking tiny against the mountain of pillows.

“Oh Omega, well done.”

Jeonghan smiled shakily, and beckoned him closer, nodding at the nurse. “Beta, meet your pup. Sujinnie, sweetheart, this is your dam—”

Joshua's heart sank. “I’m your father darling. Jeonghan-love, you’re not going anywhere. Have you held Sujin yet?” Joshua swallowed down tears and shook his head at the nurse when she went to put the tiny pup, swaddled in green, into his arms. They had an omega.

“No — I don’t want to. I’m leaving now, beta, I want my other pup—”

Joshua pressed his lips to the crown of Jeonghan’s head, “My love, please hold Sujin, your pup wants you—” As if on cue, Sujin started to wail and Jeonghan turned to look at him. “Please hold the pup.”

The nurse swayed the baby gently and Jeonghan shook his head. “Beta, you’re his dam.”

“I’m not. You are.”

Jeonghan shook his head and curled into Joshua’s chest. Joshua sighed and frowned apologetically at the nurses — they'd all been advised of the situation but it was only polite to warn them — before ducking to bite the omega firmly on his scent gland. Jeonghan sagged into him and started to cry and Joshua rubbed his back, holding until he felt he could let go and then pulling back, lapping until the bleeding stemmed.

“Hold your pup, omega.”

Jeonghan nodded shakily and turned to the nurse. “My pup, please.”

The nurse, tears in her eyes, lowered the pup into Jeonghan’s arms and the two omegas stared at each other. Joshua held his breath.

Jeonghan purred. The sound strangled and quiet, but it was definitely a purr and Joshua pressed his hand against his mouth — he never thought he’d hear that sound again. Jeonghan nuzzled the pup and held him up against his scent gland, purring right into his ear and his scent — his scent smelt balanced and Joshua held himself up by the bed rails. This was brilliant. Jeonghan methodically marked the pup until they were indistinguishable — Joshua hadn’t properly smelt the pup and he probably wouldn’t for a few months now — and looked at the nurse curiously when the pup started to whine, licking at Jeonghan’s chin.

“Probably hungry. Do you want to feed baby?”

Jeonghan nodded, stroking a gentle finger down the bridge of the pup’s nose. “Tell me how?”

“Hold him against your breast, baby will know what to do. It’ll be a bit sore initially, your milk might take a few days to come in—”

“I’ve been leaking all month. Since, since I—” Jeonghan turned to press against Joshua’s chest. “Since I lost his twin.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Jeonghan nodded and inhaled, tilting up for Joshua to — Joshua didn’t quite know but he scented his cheek anyway and Jeonghan pulled back, unbuttoning the hospital gown and guiding Sujin to his breast. The pup gummed at the nipple and Jeonghan exhaled, nodding at the nurse’s queries and holding the pup carefully.

“Beta, he’s — look.”

“You’re doing so well, love. You’re doing so well.” Joshua nuzzled into his hair and the nurses slipped out quietly, returning moments later to explain how to wind the baby when he’d finished. 

Jeonghan stared at the pup, purr growing stronger the longer he held him, and then suddenly looked up at Joshua with wild eyes.

“You’re alright, everything’s okay. Alpha’s outside.”

“My other pup is waiting for me, Beta.”

“I know, omega, I know. But that pup will wait a while longer. Hold this one now, Sujin needs you now.”

Jeonghan nodded and cooed at Sujin when he slipped off, pressing his knuckle against the baby’s lips until he sucked on that. “Still hungry, puppy? There’s more if you want it, hm? Try this side.”

Joshua exhaled quietly and kissed Jeonghan’s crown. 

They winded the pup carefully, wiping away his spit up with a soft flannel and then Jeonghan insisted Joshua hold him.

“Sujinnie, meet your Papa.”

Joshua exhaled.

“This is my beta, baby. You can meet my alpha — your Sire — in a bit. Okay? Papa's gonna love you like I do and take care of you when I can’t. You have to listen to him, yeah?”

Joshua watched as Jeonghan nuzzled the pup carefully, and slowly passed him into Joshua’s arms, keeping his own just underneath him in case he dropped him. As if he would ever.

“Hi love. Welcome to the family.”

“Mark him too.” Jeonghan whispered and Joshua ducked to scent him familially, breathing in the clean sweet baby-milky smell of him and handing him back to Jeonghan when the elder omega started to whine.

“You’re okay, my loves. I promise.”

Jeonghan exhaled and pressed his lips to the baby’s forehead. “Alpha?”

“I’ll get him.”

  
"Alpha, I've given you a son, an omega."

“Oh omega, I’m so proud, you’ve done so well. In him I am well pleased and in you I am blessed. Thank you for such a gorgeous pup.” Seungcheol breathed, ducking to kiss Jeonghan slowly and pulling back when the omega hissed at him.

“Don’t touch the pup.”

Seungcheol half smiled, “Okay omega. Can I look at him?”

Jeonghan nodded, purring and shifting forward until Seungcheol copped on and sat onto the bed behind him, nuzzling carefully at the fresh bite mark and looking at Joshua.

Joshua shrugged, he'd explain later. It wasn't like they'd expected this to go smoothly.

Seungcheol licked it and then rested his chin on Jeonghan’s shoulder, looking down at Sujin with so much love in his eyes.

“Alpha this is Sujin. Sujinnie meet your sire. This is my Alpha, like I told you. You have to listen to him too, he’ll keep you safe. But he can’t touch you until you get your teeth, alright?” Jeonghan nuzzled the pup gently, “You had a sibling–” Jeonghan looked up at Joshua until the beta sat down beside him and wrapped his arm around his waist. “But you can’t meet him til you’re much older, alright? Beta said I can’t either. So we’ll have to miss your twin together, but I don’t know how long I can stay. I’ll try and wait until you’re really big. But your Papa will take care of you.”

Seungcheol closed his teeth over Jeonghan’s bite mark gently, not drawing blood, just applying pressure.

“Your Sire doesn’t want me to go. We don’t often disagree. He doesn’t know how hard it is.”

Seungcheol rumbled reassuringly and Jeonghan sighed.

“I’ll try, but Alpha’s gonna help with his teeth, so don’t be scared when he bites me, it’s okay, he has to.”

Joshua crooned gently, nosing up Jeonghan’s neck and pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“Beta too. But we’ll keep you safe, Sujinnie, you’re gonna live a long life, my precious one.”

*


	4. Episode 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18th August – 1st October

*

  
Sujin was asleep. 

Jeonghan exhaled and lay down slowly, tensing up as he touched the mattress but relaxing when all Sujin did was scrunch up his nose. The doctors had said that the nest might be hard initially, because of the scents, but Jeonghan hadn't quite realised they meant that Sujin wouldn't sleep. At all. For a week.

They'd been taking shifts.

But he was asleep now.

And Jeonghan was seconds away from following him. The front door closed and the smell of chicken pie wafted up the stairs and Jeonghan almost moved. Almost moved but for Sujin's sleepy baby purr and Jeonghan's own leaden eyes.

"Beta?"

"Yeah?" Beta barely breathed the word, still and quiet least either of them wake up the miracle that had just occurred.

"When I wake up can I have pie?"

"Absolutely."

"Fantastic." Jeonghan yawned and let his eyes close. Food was great. Pups sleeping were better.

*

Sujin nosed into Jeonghan's neck and wriggled, nosing blindly for his scent gland and coughing up milk onto Jeonghan's muslin covered shoulder as he winded him gently.

"That's it, little bean, there you are, easy does it." Jeonghan pressed a kiss to his ear before wiping his face and putting the muslin into the washbag by the bed.   
Sujin squirmed and Jeonghan settled him down into a little blanket free section of the nest. "Fed up of me?" He said it with a smile, the pup wasn't too picky at the moment, but when Beta touched his pinky finger to Sujin's fist, he grabbed on tight. "Just wanted your papa, did you?" 

Jeonghan twisted to get the glass of water, blessedly cool in the heat of the nest, and yawned. He was exhausted. 

"Have a nap, my love," Beta murmured, reaching with his other hand to touch Jeonghan's cheek softly, "I'm not going anywhere. He'll be fine."

Jeonghan nodded and looked down at the pup. "Wake me up if—"

"Of course I will."

"And Alpha can't touch—"

"My love, I know he can't. And he won't. He would never ignore you like that."

Jeonghan nodded and leaned over to touch his nose to Beta's with a yawn. "You're the best."

"I do try."

*

Jeonghan inhaled shakily and blinked rapidly. Pups. Pups. Where were they—

"Omega?"

"Pups? Where are they?"

There was an empty silence for a second before it all flashed back to him. "Sujinnie, where is he?"

"I have him, only for a second, you're alright, he's alright—"

That was Beta. Jeonghan squeezed his eyes shut and leaned back — Alpha was behind him. He opened his eyes again and blinked. Oh great. He could see now, that had been scary. He exhaled and all but collapsed back against Alpha's chest.

"Give him to me."

Sujin was in his arms within a heartbeat and Jeonghan scented him, inhaling the soft baby family scent of him, breathing in happy pup.

"Can I hold him?" Alpha whispered and Jeonghan shook his head.

"Not til he has his teeth, you know that."

Alpha's scent wobbled and Jeonghan purred softly, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, it's just instincts, I get it. I just don't like it."

"Soon."

"Yeah, soon."

  
*

Beta had music on. 

Jeonghan's toes were tapping along to the beat, holding Sujin close as he nursed, breaking off every few second to twist and stare at his Papa, wiggling around the room as he folded clothes into one of the drawers, hung up suits and draped ties onto the tie rack.

"Sujinnie~" Jeonghan soothed a thumb along Sujin's cheek, "Are you hungry or not? Hm?"

Sujin dutifully latched back on, staring up at Jeonghan for a few seconds before his eyes started to drift closed with concentration.

"Mamma mia! My my! I could never let you go–" Beta pirouetted into the bathroom and Jeonghan hid his laughter into Sujin's downy hair. He couldn't even be mad when Sujin pulled away again to stare after him, waiting until he reappeared to turn back to Jeonghan.

Beta came over to tuck pyjamas under the pillow, "Sujinnie ignore your dam, he doesn't know anything about good music."

"I didn't say anything!" Jeonghan protested and Beta just huffed, leaning his forehead against his own for a second.

"I know you."

"Stop distracting him he's taking twice as long to feed and he's due a nap," Jeonghan leaned up to scent himself off Joshua's chin briefly, barely noticing Joshua's double take but Sujin took that moment to start to cry, and it was all systems baby after that.

*

Alpha was on the ground, leaning against the mattress, cooing and rumbling quietly at the pup where he was laying close to Jeonghan's side, kicking lightly.

"His fangs came in." Jeonghan murmured, quiet because he was exhausted and quiet because he didn't want to wake up Beta. He'd cried himself asleep.

Alpha looked at him, wide eyes and excited scent. "Did they?"

"Sharp little things–" Jeonghan turned over his wrist so that alpha could see– "bit me earlier. Do you want to touch him?"

"Can I?"

Jeonghan nodded, "Fangs are down, of course you can."

Alpha exhaled slowly and reached out to brush the pad of his index finger along Sujin's scrunched up hand, cooing when Sujin wrapped his fingers around it tightly. Jeonghan closed his eyes, fully relaxing for the first time since — fully relaxing.

"Can I hold him?"

Jeonghan opened his eyes again and nodded, "You're his sire, of course you can."

"But—"

"He can bite you if you do it wrong. Don't ask me to explain, I don't know. Instincts are weird."

Alpha nodded and leaned down to brush their noses together, "Thank you, I love you."

"Love you too."

Sujin looked at Jeonghan until he leaned down to nuzzle against his nose too, scent dripping easy around him, and Sujin cooed, purring quietly. 

Alpha cradled his arms around the pup carefully and lifted him up, rocking him lightly and brushing noses before tucking the tiny thing up against his neck. Sujin was quiet and Jeonghan watched as the pup took in big lungfuls of his Sire's scent. It wasn't that he'd never smelt his sire, no, the entire house smelt of all three of them, but he hadn't scented him. He'd cuddled up close to Jeonghan's neck and Beta's neck, and the nest was permeated in all of their scents, but he hadn't properly scented his sire yet and by the looks of it, he couldn't get enough. Alpha was rumbling like a motor, besotted.

Completely and utterly besotted.

"You're so adorable, puppy. Your tiny little toes are the cutest things I've ever seen in my entire life, and your eyes are just like your damma's. I hope you have his pelt, you're so perfect…" 

Jeonghan closed his eyes slowly, listening to Alpha's steady outpouring of love and adoration, and Sujin's tiny tiny purry coos, not meaning to fall asleep until he did, safe and content in the knowledge that Sujin was safe and happy.

*

  
Alpha was in the bathroom with the pup, and Beta was fiddling with the bandage over Jeonghan's neck.

"All done."

"Beta, you smell—" Jeonghan tugged at him until he could nose in against his neck properly– "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay."

"Are you?" Jeonghan kissed at a faint bite mark and waited, Beta's scent was weird. Crooked or something.

"Just worried. We have the video conference with your doctors today?"

Jeonghan nodded, he – to be frank he didn't know he had a video conference, he focused on Sujin and they focused on the two of them.

"Yeah?"

Beta shrugged, "Just worried. You know me."

Jeonghan hummed and pressed closer, worrying his teeth onto the juncture of Beta's neck and purring gently. Beta slowly relaxed, and Jeonghan pulled back.

"It'll be alright. Sujinnie is doing well."

Beta touched his forehead to Jeonghan's, "So are you."

"Does that mean you're taking the nail things off?"

"No."

Jeonghan frowned and looked over Beta's shoulder, "Pup please!" There was letting alpha hold him and there was letting alpha take him. The two things were not the same.

*

“Baby, let us change the sheets, please, come here?” Alpha coaxed Jeonghan out of the nest and into his arms, kissing the side of his head and nuzzling the pup. “There you are. It’s okay my darlings, just stay here for a moment. We’ll scent the bedding up in a minute.”

Jeonghan stared at Beta as he stripped the bed quickly and made it back up as quickly as he could. He even readjusted the nesting supports and structures just the way Jeonghan liked them. 

He knew they needed to change sheets, it just felt like they shouldn't. Sujin bit down on Jeonghan’s shoulder and Jeonghan didn’t even flinch, just rubbed his back gently and cooed a little, “Well done baby, such sharp teeth you have.”

Alpha nuzzled his other shoulder and kissed his skin gently, “Just a moment longer.”

Beta kissed his forehead and nuzzled his cheeks. “Now. Let’s get you into a bath, hm?”

“No, Beta—”

“Yes, Omega. Bath for you and Alpha will bathe Sujinnie. Don’t push.”

“Beta?” This felt wrong. 

“He's really good at it, you know that, yeah? And Sujinnie likes the water. Let him go, just for a bit, please?” Beta kissed his scent gland as Jeonghan handed Sujin to Alpha, and wrapped his arms around him, swaying them gently. "Well done."

“Beta?”

“Breathe. There you are. Just like that, now, we have bubbles, or oils, what would you like?” Beta murmured and guided him into the bathroom, the bath was already full, waiting.

Beta crooned at him the entire time he bathed — Jeonghan felt mildly like a cat with how much he was Not enjoying the water — and then he cut his nails, affixing the tiny caps back onto the tips of his fingers and pressing kisses onto each knuckle. Jeonghan hissed half-heartedly but Beta just kissed his cheeks, guided him out of the bath, helped him to dry off and into a clean pair of pyjamas. 

Alpha pressed the pup back into his arms and they let him hurry back into the bed, nesting down into the clean blankets and hiding the pup, breathing quietly for a few moments before guiding Sujin to his chest and relaxing when the pup started to nurse. 

Jeonghan looked towards his mates and chirped. 

They exhaled.

*

Sujin was purring. He was purring and he sounded happy and Jeonghan gripped the duvet tightly and forced himself to exhale. Pup was fine. He was nearby, just open your eyes and you can find him.

Open your eyes.

Just open your eyes.

Jeonghan opened his eyes — lifting the small hammers on his eyelids with concentrated strength — and inhaled with relief when he could see Sujin's tiny sock clad feet kicking from the changing table. 

"Sujinnie, don't wee on me, love, please—" Alpha pleaded and Jeonghan hummed in amusement. That would be like the pup.

Sujin kicked his legs and weed up at his sire, the acrid scent of it hitting Jeonghan right in the nose.

"You don't do this for Papa or Damma, why is it me? Is this how you show me you love me?" Alpha sounded like he was whining and Jeonghan hauled himself into a sitting position with a grin.

"Well, I love you too."

Sujin babbled back at him and Alpha taped the little nappy onto him with a grin of success.

"Trapped!" Alpha leaned down to nuzzle his nose against Sujin's before putting his chin against his check to scent him softly. "Lets get you into some clothes, shall we? What about your stripy onesie? The one siresenna bought you? Or the one with the cats ears on it? That damma-squared got for you? What about the polka dot one? From granny? What was that?" Alpha cooed as Sujin kicked happily up at him. 

Jeonghan stood slowly and leaned against the wall for a second while his legs got with the picture.

"Polka dots? Okay little man, polka dots it is!" 

Jeonghan smiled at Sujin's screech of protest as Alpha put the onesie onto him, and leaned against the doorjamb to look at them. Sujin noticed him before Alpha, turning towards him with a coo and Jeonghan pushed off the door frame to take three shaky steps to the changing table, gripping onto the edge tightly.

"Hi baby."

"Omega? You're up?"

Jeonghan nodded and leaned into Alpha's hip, tickling Sujin's stomach with one hand. "Needed to see him."

Alpha rested his cheek against Jeonghan's crown and his breath fluttered Jeonghan's hair. "Sleep well?"

"I think so."

"Ready for lunch?" There was a rumble coating Alpha's words and Jeonghan leaned further against him.

"Lunch?"

Alpha hummed, wrapping an arm around Jeonghan's waist when he wobbled a little, "Its nearly three pm. What about coming downstairs?"

"Where's beta?"

"He had to go into work," Alpha let him avoid the question, "Just to sort some stuff out, he'll be back soon. Are you hungry?"

"A bit?"

"I'll bring something up."

Jeonghan nodded and leaned over to pluck Sujin up and nuzzle against his cheek, "Hi sweetheart, were you good for Senna?"  
  
Sujin cooed and Jeonghan kissed his cheek, "No? You weren't? Damma's boy are you?"

Alpha kissed Jeonghan's forehead, "He weed on me. I have to change before I make lunch, let's get you into a chair, hm?"

Alpha left Jeonghan installed in the big armchair they'd brought up into the bedroom. Wrapped up in a blanket and with Sujin happy in his lap, promising to be back in mere seconds with food. 

"Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"I will."

"Anything, omega, I mean it." He stared at Jeonghan and he nodded.

"I promise, Alpha. Promise."

"Alright. See you soon. I'm just downstairs, okay?"

"Yeah. See you in a minute."

* 


	5. Episode 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 10th – November 26th

*

Jeonghan woke slowly, Sujin's little purrs vibrating against his throat, the sleep-sweet smell of him instantly calming any fears or worries Jeonghan may have had. He nosed at his nape sleepily, marking the tiny thing again as his. You couldn't smell Sujin. That was the point. He was a baby, a tiny baby, and too precious to have an identifying smell. He wouldn't have one for years. Or at least, they would make sure nobody but his parents knew what it was.  
Jeonghan chirped quietly. Loud enough that Alpha and Beta would be able to hear it wherever they were in the house — they weren't in the bedroom? — but quiet enough that it didn't register as a call to the pup. His tiny, sweet, perfect omega pup. He was only two months old, and Jeonghan loved every single inch of him. Loved his tiny purrs and scratchy hums, loved how sharp his fangs were already, and how he gnawed on all of them all the time, loved how he fed — slow but greedy – how he was enraptured by Alpha’s rumble. He'd go still, look to Jeonghan for a sign that everything was okay and then wiggle crawl as close as he possibly could to his sire's chest and press his ear to his skin. He loved how he loved Beta, how he had a love affair with his hair, how he nibbled on his papa's ear whenever he held him against his shoulder.

He was precious and perfect, and theirs.

And Jeonghan adored him.

  
"Morning, love." Alpha came in with a tea tray and Jeonghan cuddled Sujin closer, kissing his cheek before sitting up.

"Morning. Is it still morning?"

"It's nearly noon. Feeling up to going downstairs today?"

Jeonghan looked at him, taking a tea cup off him in exchange for the pup, "Maybe?"

"That's good enough for me, love. I'm going to open the windows. Do you want anything specific for breakfast?"

"Eggs?"

Alpha opened the windows a little bit, fresh air streaming into the room and nodded, "Are you okay for us to bite you today?"

Jeonghan nodded, he got properly bitten every weekend now. Alpha steady and confident that it would help, Beta whispering benedictions into his hair, holding him like he’d promised.

Sujin babbled, grasping for Alpha’s nose, dragging his chin along it, huffing. Alpha kissed his cheek.

"You already bite your damma all the time, puppy, hush now. Let's get you changed and then you can have breakfast too, alright?"

  
Jeonghan ate. 

He fed Sujin and half answered all of Alpha's questions about his sleep and what he wanted to do, and if he wanted anything bought specially. He was scared to ask about how Alpha and Beta got on when he wasn’t there. It was selfish. He shouldn’t have begged for it, shouldn’t have made Alpha choose, shouldn’t have lost a pup—

“Omega. With me. You’re alright, I promise I’m not mad at you.” Alpha’s voice dragged him back to the present. Sujin was babbling quietly into his sire's ear and Alpha looked—

“Failed you.”

“You didn’t.” Alpha’s voice was firm.

"But I did. I was supposed to have two babies, Alpha, two. We bought everything for two. Sujin was supposed to have a sibling, and he doesn't. That's my fault."

"It's not anybody's fault, love—" Alpha held out his hand and Jeonghan gripped it tightly.

"Then why?"

"Sometimes things just—"

Jeonghan closed his eyes and Alpha fell silent. He squeezed Jeonghan's hand tight and rubbed his thumb across the skin between his thumb and pointer finger.  
"It's not fair."

"It's not."

"I miss them."

Alpha sat into the nest behind him and gently placed Sujin down into a baby safe nest of blankets and wrapped his arms carefully around Jeonghan. "I know you do. I do too."

"We were going to have twins. Twins—" Jeonghan broke into a sob and bent over his hands, taking deep gulping breaths– "I haven't even named them, I had to, I had to, Alpha, I had to—"

Alpha pressed his nose against Jeonghan's nape and he could feel his tears soaking into his collar.

"I know."

"I don't even know where they are?"

"They're safe—"

"Where?"

"My dam took them, they're waiting to do the ceremony until later, but they're—"

Don't say cremated, don't say cremated— "Don't say cremated."

"No, love, no," Alpha's voice cracked, "No. Just waiting for us to be ready."

Jeonghan nodded.

"You can name them, love. You can name them now?"

"I never got to hold them, they never let me hold them."

Alpha held him tighter and Jeonghan turned to wrap his arms around him too, hiding into his neck and crying quietly. He didn't want to upset Sujin, but the smell of grief was all he'd ever known, and he just wriggled happily.

"I'm so sorry, love."

"It's not," Jeonghan managed, "it's not your fault."

"And it's not yours."

Jeonghan nodded. "Do you miss them?"

"Yeah. I took down the other crib, and I just—"

"I'm sorry."

Alpha kissed his neck, "Someone had to do it, and I'd rather it be me than you or Joshua, love. I keep thinking I've forgotten one of them."

"I keep forgetting I only have one. I keep forgetting everything. I can't remember anything—"

"I know. You're getting better though, it's the biting. It'll get better."

"I can't even remember your names," Jeonghan whispered and closed his eyes tighter, "I know them but I can't remember them."

"It's okay—"

"It's not, it's not. You're more than alpha, Alpha. And Beta — is he okay?"

"He's alright."

"Do you get on?"

Alpha pulled back to sweep his thumbs over Jeonghan's cheekbones, wiping away the tears and cradling his head between his hands. "We've always gotten on, love. And we do get on. More than get on."

"You're not mad at me?"

"I've never been mad at you in my life, Omega."

Jeonghan searched his face, looking for any hint of a lie but there was nothing there. "I miss you."

"I'm right here," Alpha leaned his nose against his, "I'm right here."

They named him later, the three of them curled together in the nest, Sujin purring in his sleep. Jinseon, for their first and precious pup that none of them had gotten to meet.

  
* 

  
Sujin would not stop biting him and Jeonghan rubbed his back, "What is it?" 

Sujin only bit him harder in response and Jeonghan detached him carefully. 

"Puppy, I know you're upset about something, let me help, let damma help, hm?" He gently put the knuckle of one of his fingers into Sujin's mouth and winced when he gummed down hard on it, fangs missing it. "Are you teething? Gonna have more teeth? Hm?" Jeonghan bounced him softly and moved to the window, looking down into the back garden. It was frosty. 

He missed running.

Something knocked over downstairs and Jeonghan turned, curious. It was tradition that he stay in the nest or at least in the bedroom until the pup shifted for the first time. Generally people took that to be the entire house, but every time one of his mates tried to coax him over the threshold of the bedroom, Jeonghan's fangs dropped properly down, so that hadn't really been happening. He mildly wanted to see what had happened. 

Only mildly.

But he was still more interested than he'd been in weeks.

Interesting.

He did miss their couch. It was puffy and purple and had this cream throw and you just got sucked into it and needed help — or to make a complete and utter fool of yourself — in order to get out of it.

  
"Omega, I promise we didn't break anything."

Jeonghan looked at Beta when he appeared in the doorway and then raised his eyebrow when Alpha came in to repeat the same phrase, gaze dropping down to where Alpha's hands had found their home on Beta's hips. Beta blushed lightly when he looked back up at him and Jeonghan hummed.

"And you're telling me this, why?"

"Because we didn't break anything."

"Were you fighting?"

"No? My love, why would you think that?" Beta came over to him with a frozen teething ring for Sujin and Jeonghan swapped his finger out gratefully.

"No reason."

"Are you still worrying about us?" Alpha opened the bathroom window and came back in with a glass of water for Jeonghan, "I thought we talked about this."

Jeonghan blinked. Had they? He slept between them every night. Had done since Beta had moved in. He bit them both. He loved them both. He was only mated to one of them. “Have we?"

“Sweetheart, there’s nothing to worry about. We both love you, adore you, you’re alive, you’re doing so well. Sujin is doing so well—”

“But–” Jeonghan looked at Alpha– “but, aren’t you upset?”

“By what, love?”

Jeonghan turned to Beta but he was only looking at him the same way. Mildly confused and fond.

“Beta~”

“Hannie.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Beta cupped his cheek and Jeonghan closed his eyes, leaning into it. 

“Shouldn’t have made you do this, shouldn’t have changed your plans, lost a pup, should have been stronger?”

“Do you think Seungcheol — Alpha — had to let me sleep in your bed? That he had to do anything he didn’t want to?”

Jeonghan stared at him. No? 

“He didn’t. And I didn’t have to kiss you, didn’t have to kiss him, don’t have to. I never had to do this to be helpful and useful. But it's something that's happened, and that none of us are upset by. Are you upset by it?"

"No. But—"

"The moon always gets what she wants, my love.”

“You could have—”

“I’m happy. I love you. I love our pup. I'm happy here.”

“Beta–” Jeonghan handed Sujin to Alpha– “Beta?”

“You know that if Alpha hadn't been biting you since July, that you wouldn’t have lasted a week after Sujin’s birth.”

Jeonghan nodded, tears tumbling down his cheeks, he — as a rule, omegas didn’t survive their infant’s death.

“He’s two and a half months-old on Wednesday.”

Jeonghan nodded, “But you—”

"Biting is hard, hm? It goes against everything that alphas and betas are taught. And you asked me to. You asked me to do everything you couldn't."

"Am I not ruining your life? Making you here, part of us?” Jeonghan managed to get out before the words clogged in his throat and he held his breath, looking at the floor. He’d ruined their lives. All of their lives. His knees threatened to give out and Beta guided him into the chair behind him.

“No. You’re not.” 

"But—"

"We're mostly mated."

“A mateship means love, though?” Jeonghan hadn't meant that, "I love you, but— 

Beta only smiled, “It does.”

“You’re not bitten.”

Beta laughed quietly and shook his head, “Omega, love, please.”

Alpha huffed, and rubbed his thumb into a knot on Jeonghan's shoulder absently. “Omega. Look at him.”

Jeonghan looked. While it was true that Beta’s mating gland was bare, it was pretty much the only inch of skin that was. If the teeth marks weren’t Sujin’s they were Jeonghan’s.

“Oh. I’m sorry?”

“Whose teeth go into your neck at the weekend?”

“Alpha’s."

“And mine, sweetheart.”

Jeonghan stared at him, “My mating gland? I—" Jeonghan whipped his head around— "Alpha? How? Is that? Are we in trouble? I’m, I’m sorry?”

“Jeonghan, I know this is hard, but can you remember back when I bit you for the first time since our mating?” Alpha asked gently, holding Jeonghan’s hands.

“Beta screamed.”

“I did.”

“Do you remember afterwards?"

"Sujin kicked."

"Yeah, he did. Can you remember when Joshua slapped me and told you that you weren’t allowed to scare him like that ever again and that he’d move in if he needed to?”

“He kissed me.”

“I did.”

“And he put his palm on your bite, like he does every time we bite you, stopped the bleeding, held it until it knit a little, and then he licked it closed. Do you remember that?”

“No?”

“That’s alright. He’s been in the mateship since then, darling. You asked him to carry Sujin for you. You asked him to be his dam if you couldn’t be. You gave me a mate because you thought you were dying.”

“I didn’t give you a choice?”

“Jeonghan–” Beta drew his attention back to him– “I didn’t have to offer. I didn’t have to look Seungcheol in the eye and call you _'my_ love’, I didn’t have to offer for him to bite me.”

“Did he? Did you?”

“No, not yet. We’re waiting until you’re a little better, but it doesn’t mean I can’t feel when I’m needed, doesn’t mean I don’t get the tug, hm?”  
Jeonghan drew his knees up to his chest and pressed his forehead against them. 

“I’m confused?”

“That’s alright.”

“I love Sujinnie.” He knew he was changing the topic.

“That’s right.” Beta’s voice was gentle, like a balm.

“I never want to leave him.”

“That’s good, love.” Alpha whispered against his ear.

“He has three parents.”

“He does.”

“We’re mated? All of us? Together? And you, you’re, you love each other too?”

“We’re getting there.”

Jeonghan nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

"I think so."

Beta tilted Jeonghan’s face up, nuzzling noses. 

“Scent me, please? Both of you? Please?”

Alpha exhaled with something that sounded a lot like relief and Beta’s face was plainly shocked.

“You want a scenting?”

“I always want a scenting.”

“Not in months you haven’t sweetheart,” Alpha murmured, “But you can have one right now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah," Alpha said and turned to put Sujin — who had fallen asleep — into the latest addition to the bedroom, the small nest like bassinet. Jeonghan was not a fan, but Sujin seemed to like it. "Shua, the scenting cream is in the bathroom press.” Alpha directed, and guided Jeonghan back into the nest proper.

"Do you want to take off your jumper?" 

By the time Jeonghan was mostly naked, curled against Alpha’s chest, Beta was back, jar open, and settled by Jeonghan’s hip.

“Cheol-ah? How does this go?”

“Intense scenting of each gland and then coat it. You start with his left ankle, I'll start with his left chin. Alternate. Otherwise he’ll be like a two sided colour palette.”

“Beta, I don’t take scent, our scents didn’t meld, did you know?”

Beta tucked a curl of Jeonghan’s hair behind his ear, “I know. Mine isn’t very strong.”

“Don't apologise. Your scent has always been soothing. Like tea on a cold day.”

Beta leaned in to kiss him slowly, licking up his confusion and happiness, gentle. Jeonghan felt like he was slowly shattering in reverse. 

*

Jeonghan woke up slowly, Sujinnie’s tiny purrs vibrating against his throat. He opened his eyes, the bedroom was empty. He was hungry. He scooped Sujin up against his neck — he was getting big, nearly three months old now. That week. He kissed his forehead and nuzzled his ear, bleeding scent into the air, too tired to try and control it properly — it got all over Sujin anyway, that was the point.

He wanted to go downstairs.

He'd gone into Sujin's nursery last week. Just to scent it up a bit, and to comb through the wardrobe for one of the baby wraps they'd bought during the summer.

Slowly, step by step and holding onto the wall, the door, the banisters, Jeonghan made his way to the top of the stairs, before he eased himself down to sit on the step. 

His legs were wobbly. 

He was holding Sujinnie. 

He couldn't let him fall.

He went down the stairs step by step, trying not to jostle the pup too much but really not wanting to fall down the stairs, sitting on the last step and pressing his forehead to Sujin's, already exhausted.

He was hungry though, and he wanted to see another part of the house that wasn't the four walls of their bedroom, so he inhaled, stood up, kissed Sujin and followed his nose into the kitchen before and stopping in the doorway.

Alpha was leaning back against the counter, hand out behind himself to keep them steady as Beta kissed him. Beta's hands were cupping Alpha's chin, and Alpha had his free hand low on Beta's back. 

Jeonghan blinked. They'd been smelling more like each other lately, but it was nice to see that it hadn't all been for his benefit. 

Sujin chirped curiously, and Jeonghan shushed him, but it was loud enough that Beta and Alpha broke apart, turning with wide eyes to stare at Jeonghan, their scents flaring — worried, scared, surprised, happy?

“Good Morning, sweethearts. You're downstairs?” Alpha greeted.

Jeonghan nodded, "Morning. I wanted to come down." he shrugged a little, he didn't understand either. Sujin nuzzled close and Jeonghan’s attention switched to him, cooing gently, fishing for his own purr and brushing their noses together.

Beta touched his waist, hooked his chin over his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Hungry. Did you sleep well?”

“I did. Did you?”

“I don’t know. I — Sujinnie woke me up purring.” Jeonghan settled the pup and turned, looking at Beta carefully.

"He has such a loud purr doesn't he? Do you know what you want to eat?”

“Eggs?”

“Coming right up, love.” Alpha said from behind him and Jeonghan chirped in thanks, not taking his eyes off Beta's face. He wanted… he wanted to kiss him.  
Beta—Joshua? Joshua? Joshua's eyes widened, his scent must be doing something. Jeonghan nuzzled Sujin’s crown gently.

“Beta?”

“Omega.” Joshua smiled, eyes crinkling happily and Jeonghan held back a bark of laughter, stepping close to press their noses together, their breaths mingling.

He kissed him. Pressed their lips together and closed his eyes, gentle. Joshua kissed him back, steadying him when he pulled away, dragging his nose up the length of Jeonghan’s own, gentle.

“Hi.”

Sujin gurgled and Joshua smiled again, kissing Jeonghan once, “Hi.” before bending to nuzzle Sujin’s crown, and Jeonghan passed him the pup, watching as Sujin squirmed but settled on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck happily. 

“Well done for coming down.” Joshua hummed, kissing Sujin’s nose and smiling at him.

“Joshua,” Jeonghan whispered, tucking himself into his side, “Joshua.”

“That’s me, my love–" Joshua squeezed him tight– "Is your head a little clearer this morning?”

Jeonghan nodded and closed his eyes, “Happy-sad.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you biting me today?”

Joshua hummed, “Later on.”

"I don't want to forget your names again."

“You'll remember them. And it's okay if you call us by our dynamics, you've always done that anyway.” Joshua passed the pup to Alpha and took Jeonghan into his arms properly.

“You’re Joshua.”

“I am.”

"Normally I know that and pick to call you Beta. You're more than your dynamic." Jeonghan murmured and Joshua sighed.

“I know, love, I know. But your memory is getting better with the less we bite you. And the doctors want us to drop it to every other week soon, alright? Not much more.”

Jeonghan nuzzled into his throat, “I want to watch Sujinnie grow up.”

Joshua squeezed him tightly and swayed them a little, “I want that too, love. I want that too.”

  
Jeonghan turned, Alpha was watching them, fond. The pot had long bubbled, but Alpha didn't look particularly bothered by the hopping of the water close to his elbow. Sujin was staring at them from his arms. He stepped over to him slowly, hand leaning carefully on chair backs and then Alpha held out his hand and Jeonghan gripped it tightly, taking the final few steps over to him and folding himself into his front, nuzzling into Sujin’s hair with a quiet purr. He leaned out to turn off the hob.

“Alpha,” Jeonghan mumbled and Alpha—Seungcheol?–alpha laughed.

“Hey, baby. Feeling better? Out of your nest and all, well done.” Alp-cheol, Seungcheol was nosing his hair, scenting his head, scent dripping around them. Jeonghan inhaled and pressed closer. Seungcheol rumbled gently and Sujinnie giggled.

“Missed you.”

“Oh baby, you’re so good.”

“Hungry too.”

“Okay love, go back to Beta and I’ll finish your food?”

“Can I?” Jeonghan asked, not really wanting to cook, just wanting to know if they’d let him.

“Not yet love. You’re shaky on your feet, aren’t you? It's too dangerous right now.”

“Feel useless.”

“No, never–” Seungcheol pulled back to look him in the eye, "You're absolutely not useless, darling. No. Don't think like that, alright?"

Jeonghan nodded, and Joshua touched his waist, “Come over and sit down, hm? Sujin can try out his highchair?”

Jeonghan nodded again and unfolded himself from Seungcheol’s chest, pressing up on his tippy toes long enough to whisper “Seungcheol?” against Seungcheol’s lips and get a kiss in response. He felt clearer. This was good.

*

Jeonghan was playing with Sujin on the carpet in the front room, humming to him quietly, his voice was scratchy but it was working, and he was tired. But happy. Sujin was tracking the little red ball with his eyes and Jeonghan couldn't stop kissing him. His tiny purr was fluttering around the room, and every few minutes, Jeonghan would scoop him up to nuzzle into his neck and purr loudly. Sujin giggled quietly and Jeonghan kissed his nose.

"You're so good, baby."

The windows were open, and although the thought of stepping outside the house made Jeonghan want to hide in the bedroom closet, the breeze was nice and the crisp cold smell of early winter was refreshing.

Sujin had started to flicker. His claws mainly — he'd torn three pairs of socks before they'd just stopped putting them on him, switching to the tougher babygrows that were reinforced at the toes for flickering pups. 

They'd had a check up that morning. Online, on Alpha's tablet. The doctor had been nice, their usual doctor. He'd been pleased with everything. He said that the less he forced his memory to remember, the more he would remember. That he expected to see them in the office for their next check up, after Jeonghan's heat, after Sujin shifted. Sometime in the next month, hopefully.

Sujin whined at him and Jeonghan refocused, bending down to blow raspberries onto his tummy and tickle him until the pup was giggling and purring at him.

He really was the sweetest thing.

*

  
Jeonghan was finishing up a feed in the purple couch in the front room, Sujin mostly asleep, suckling absently every minute or so. His mates were talking in hushed tones in the kitchen, and Jeonghan was trying not to pay them any mind, but his hearing was as good as any omega’s and he couldn’t help but catch snatches.

He petted softly over the thick hair that Sujin had grown on his head in the past week and detached him gently, wiping his cheeks with the muslin on his shoulder before swaddling him in his blanket. Putting Sujin down into the little bassinet under the window, he fixed his top, burying down into the massive jumper he'd stolen off Alpha that morning.

“Sujinnie, sweetheart, can you stay there for a moment?” Jeonghan whispered softly, "I need to talk to Papa and Sisi. I'll be back soon.” They were only through the door, and he was asleep. It'd be fine. Surely.

Jeonghan nodded and pushed open the dividing doors, Alpha and Beta looked cross. He tilted his head. “Everything okay, mates-mine?”

Alpha stared at him, his scent bleeding into fear, worry, anxiety. Jeonghan looked at Be–Joshua. He was holding his arms carefully—

“Beta, are you hurt?”

“No my love, no I’m not.”

Jeonghan nodded and stepped further into the room. “Alpha why are you scared?”

Alpha–Seungcheol gulped for breath and stepped backwards. “Omega, Omega don’t hurt me.”

Jeonghan zero’d in on him. Why on earth would he hurt him? He'd never hurt him. He stopped walking. 

“Alpha? Talk to me, hm? What is it?” Jeonghan felt anxious, something drumming under his skin, but it didn’t feel like his anxiety. He was worried, and he got anxious in his back, not in his throat. He looked over to Joshua quickly, he looked anxious?

Seungcheol took a shaky breath and his eyes welled up, and Jeonghan hurried over to prop him up against the counter, he didn’t want him to fall over.

“Omega, I’m sorry—” Seungcheol’s voice was cracking and Jeonghan nosed his scent gland, he didn’t smell sick?

“You’re worrying me. What is it?”

“I should have asked you—” Seungcheol broke off into sobs and Jeonghan startled, he pressed his palm to Seungcheol’s scent gland and turned, arm out for Joshua.

“Joshua, come here.”

“Jeonghan—”

“What is it, just tell me what it is?” 

Seungcheol hid his head in Jeonghan’s shoulder, and he turned his eyes on Joshua, his own scent bleeding into the room, trying to calm everyone, not sure why he needed to.

“Is my pup in danger? Is Sujinnie—”

“We slept together. Sujinnie is safe.” Joshua uttered the words quietly and Jeonghan exhaled with a nod. They were mates.

“Okay, and?”

“I mean, we, we had sex.”

“Yes? You’re my mates. We’re mated. We mated after I got sick, you’re not bitten but you’re going to be? That’s okay, Joshua?”

Joshua and Seungcheol collapsed against him, hiding in his shoulder and Jeonghan wrapped his arms around the two of them.

“What did you think I was going to do? Hm? I’m only sorry I wasn’t there. And I knew you'd slept together, you smell so similar lately.”

“You’re getting so much better, omega, I’m so glad—” Seungcheol managed, mouthing on his shoulder like he was a pup looking for comfort, and Jeonghan twisted so he could bite him, sinking his teeth in with the utmost care and purring, trying his best to reassure. He pulled back.

“I love you. Both of you. Take care of each other, that’s what I wanted.”

“You’re not going anywhere?” Joshua’s voice screeched, terrified, and Jeonghan turned, biting him carefully too. Silly beta.

“I’m not.” He pulled back, “I’m not planning on it. And you’re both putting your teeth in me tomorrow, a little shorter than normal, less intense, alright? Seungcheol? I feel better, I do. And I love you, I do."

*


	6. Episode 6 : December Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December Heat  
> (and the beginning of properly episodic chapters!!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're wolves i have no other excuses for the brain patterns of jh in this one folks, it is what it is, pls enjoy it  
> *hands you sad scrambled egg on a plate*

*

Jeonghan woke sticky. Hot and sticky and—

"Babe?"

Jeonghan scooted backwards off the bed, inhaling sharply, he wasn't ready for this, he couldn't do this, what if—

"Jeonghan?"

He didn't want to, he didn't want them to — he hit the wall and wrapped his arms around himself, trying not to shake but too hot and too cold and too—

"Omega, are you alright?"

"Heat."

Seungcheol sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes and looking at Jeonghan, just looking at him. Soft. Gentle. Tender. Loving.

"I don't want, I can't, I don't think I can—"

"You don't have to."

"But it's—" Jeonghan cut himself off, inhaling and shivering, he'd forgotten it was due. Forgotten to do anything to prepare. Forgotten. He kept forgetting.

"Jeonghan?" Joshua was quiet and Jeonghan flicked his eyes to him, exhaling slowly. "Do you want to talk to your dam?"

"I can't do this."

"Nobody is going to make you do anything. We can ring the doctors if you want? See if they have—"

Jeonghan felt ill at the thought of doing anything to stop it, of taking something, trying to step back further but the wall was in his way.

"—We don't have to, just a suggestion." Seungcheol kept talking, soothingly, trying to calm him but Jeonghan didn't feel very calm.

"What do you want to do?" Joshua asked as he sat up, Sujin squirming into the heat of where he'd been sleeping, and Joshua stroked down the length of his side absently. Jeonghan zero'd in on his pup.

He could shift. Sujin had shifted the day before, they hadn't seen yet, he'd popped back before he could show him off. He could shift. He could nest? Maybe in the nursery? But that wouldn't smell right. Maybe in the wardrobe? 

He shifted, startling both his mates and immediately felt better. Not much better. But better. He shook off the remains of pyjamas, and padded tentatively closer to the bed. Neither of them moved and he took another step closer.

And another.

And another.

Sujin opened his eyes at Jeonghan's quiet coo and they went wide. 

"It's only your dam, puppy." 

Jeonghan lay his snout on the bed carefully and sniffed at Sujin, tongue darting out to poke his hand, and Sujin giggled. Jeonghan licked his hand and purred and with a pop Sujin shifted, his ashen pelt drawing a gasp from Seungcheol and a kiss to his head from Joshua. The pup wiggled towards Jeonghan and once he was close enough he grabbed him by the scruff and lifted him off the bed, turning and darting to the wardrobe, pawing it open and slipping inside, heart racing.

Sujin squirmed in his grip and Jeonghan put him down softly, licking him from snout to tail before pulling Seungcheol's trousers and Joshua's jackets down off their hangers one by one. He tried not to rip any of the fabric but he thought one or two might have ripped anyway. He didn't particularly care.

Stomping around in a circle, Jeonghan squished the clothes into a little dell of fabric, nudging Sujin into it and curling around him, swishing his tail over the pup's back. 

Sujin huffled and snuffled but didn't move from where Jeonghan had put him and he purred quietly. Good pup.

There was music on in the bedroom. Jeonghan's ears flicked and he tucked his nose further into Sujin's side. It was nice music. The CD that Joshua had bought him after they'd told him about the—

Jeonghan couldn't cry in fur.

He curled tighter around Sujin until the pup squeaked and Jeonghan licked him in apology, purring — or trying to, the sound stuttering and sputtering out.

A scuffing came at the wardrobe door and Jeonghan's eyes snapped open, ears pressing back and adjusting his tail so that the fluff of it covered Sujin.

The scuffing turned to snuffling at the base of the door and an auburn paw — Joshua's — curled around the door, tugging a little until he could get his snout in. He didn't open the door any further, just whined quietly and sniffed and Jeonghan squished his tail out to push Joshua's nose back out the door.

Joshua whined again, louder, and Seungcheol rumbled from further into the room.

He didn't want them to leave.

He didn't want them any closer.

But he didn't want them to leave.

He stretched to stick his nose out of the wardrobe, sniffing, and Joshua's whine cut out, the worried sticky feeling receding a bit.

Joshua and then Seungcheol touched their snouts to his briefly, before he heard them flop down and curl into each other outside the door, and he pulled back into the wardrobe and tucked his head under his tail.

Sleep time.

  
Sujin woke Jeonghan up with a huffy snuffly whine, and Jeonghan licked him, he was probably hungry.  
Jeonghan stretched out and guided Sujin down to feed. His dam had said that in fur, pups were so much cleverer than in skin, and with the way Sujin latched on and started to nurse within seconds, Jeonghan knew that she'd been right. He purred quietly, curling his tail protectively over Sujin's back.  
Sujin drank fast, like someone was going to pull him away, and Jeonghan curled to lick over his crown soothingly. Nobody would take him anywhere. Jeonghan would kill them first.

After grooming the pup, ignoring Sujin's hissy complaints and squirms — dams knew best. Jeonghan guided him out of the nest ahead of him, padding into the bedroom slowly. Seungcheol opened his eyes lazily and flicked his tail, rumbling quietly and Sujin stopped, backing up under Jeonghan's legs and shaking.

Ah baby.

Jeonghan bent his head to nuzzle the pup. Silly pup. It was only his sire. Sujin backed up further underneath Jeonghan, hiding behind his legs, and Jeonghan huffed. This pup.

He turned and picked the pup up by his scruff, padding over to put him onto their bed softly, licking him and staring at him to get him to stay there, before turning and plopping down in front of Seungcheol, nuzzling into his fur, and licking behind his ear — when had he last cleaned behind his ears?

Seungcheol rested his muzzle on Jeonghan's fur, rumbling like a car engine, and Sujin's quiet yippy worried noises quieted. He should be able to recognise his parents by smell, but he was still only a puppy.

Before Jeonghan could move, Sujin stepped off the bed, tumbling down on top of them and Jeonghan 

Jeonghan

Jeonghan couldn't breathe.

His pup

His

Sujin screeched and scrambled up onto Seungcheol's back and Jeonghan grabbed him by the scruff and tucked him under his paws, licking him furiously. What a daredevil. He chittered loudly, trying to convey how worried he'd been, was he trying to kill him? Sujin went lax under his attentions, huffy purrs trying to tell Jeonghan he was alright. 

Jeonghan pressed Sujin under Seungcheol's paws and nudged them both. _Stay._

Where was his other mate?

Seungcheol flicked his tail towards the door and Jeonghan nodded, padding out of the door slowly, and sniffing. Downstairs.

Joshua was lying across the end of the stairs, ears perked and Jeonghan descended the stairs slowly, leaning to nudge him but Joshua scurried back and Jeonghan tumbled down the last step, knocking over their umbrellas.

Jeonghan stilled, peaking out at Joshua from behind them, wincing and shaking out his hind legs. He wasn't hurt. Just stunned. 

He whimpered softly and Joshua's ears swivelled but he didn't come any closer. The sides of his snout were flaring and Jeonghan picked his way out of the pile of umbrellas, taking one step slowly towards Joshua.

He took one step back.

Jeonghan took another step forwards.

Joshua took another step back.

Jeonghan stopped. He chittered.

Joshua bowed his head, dropping his carriage to the floor and covering his nose and Jeonghan took a tentative step forward. Joshua didn't move. Jeonghan took another step forward, and then pounced, licking his ears and snout and purring into his neck.

Beta was being silly.

Of course he wanted him.

Jeonghan got his snout under him and pushed him up the stairs, following him up and into the bedroom, huffing in response to Seungcheol's silent question and pushing Joshua into his tiny nest, chittering at him until he — smelling bemused — lay down. Jeonghan curled into him, tucking his paws together and collapsing down into as small a ball as he could make himself and waiting until eventually, Joshua curled around him, tail laying down softly around Jeonghan's paws.

Jeonghan purred.

At some stage Sujin wormed his way back into the nest, squishing down in the circle of Jeonghan's paws and Jeonghan licked him absently before closing his eyes again.

He was very tired.

The smell of nearly raw meat wafted through the door and Jeonghan's ears flicked. He was hungry. That was true. He opened his eyes, warm, still nested down between Sujin and Joshua, did he really want to leave the nest?

Seungcheol made some sort of noise from the bedroom and it had been so long since they'd eaten in fur, not since they'd been courting… wait no. They'd gone hunting after they'd mated, hadn't they? Jeonghan couldn't remember. Surely they had. Hadn't they?

He extracted himself slowly from the two sleepy nestmates and slinked through the doorway. Seungcheol was sitting on his hind legs behind a chopping board full of barely cooked steak and Jeonghan licked his lips. What a good Alpha he had. Going hunting in Tesco's just for him. Cooking meat just for him. 

Jeonghan padded closer and bumped his snout into Seungcheol's shoulder, purring and scenting him, before turning and scoffing down the meat. 

Beta poked his head out of the closet when there were two pieces left and Jeonghan stopped mid chew.

Maybe alpha had cooked for all of them.

Seungcheol just rumbled.

Of course not. All for him. All for omega.

Jeonghan finished his meal and lay down beside Seungcheol, licking his paws clean. He'd like to run. But he didn't really want to leave the house just yet. Maybe next week.

Seungcheol rumbled.

Jeonghan looked at him and blinked slowly. Rumbly alpha. Attentive alpha. Good alpha.

Alpha.

Mate.

Mate.

Jeonghan blinked slowly and Seungcheol's tail stilled.

Mate.

Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, sniffing and staring. 

Mate. 

Mate. 

Mate. 

Matematematematematemate—

Sujin squeaked and stumbled out of the nest and Jeonghan blinked, turning to look at him. Pup.

Oh.

Jeonghan cooed and Sujin tripped his way towards him, Joshua following right behind him, nose by his tail in case he hurt himself. Jeonghan purred loudly, pleased and so pleased, just very pleased.

Sujin pounced on Jeonghan's paws with a hiss and Jeonghan moved them, only for Sujin to pounce on them again. Full of energy, well fed and well rested and full of energy. Jeonghan purred louder.

Joshua looked at the chopping board forlornly before laying down beside Jeonghan, leaning against him. Sujin changed tack and pounced on Joshua's paws letting out a loud shriek when Joshua was too slow to move them and he landed on one, clinging to it with all four paws and hissing when Joshua lifted his paw up slowly, licking the pup's nose.

He was tired.

Between Sujin's chittering happy pup noises, Alpha's soothing steady rumble and Beta's pleased huffs, Jeonghan drifted off, sinking into the warmth and gentle vibration of his family.

  
The days went slowly, the heat dragging on in a way he'd never felt it drag before — things didn't tend to drag when you were preoccupied with one thing and one thing only — the absence of regular heat proceedings making Jeonghan sleepy like sticky honey, tired in a bone deep way as opposed to sated or needy. It was different. In a way that Jeonghan wasn't sure he liked, but in a way that was infinitely preferable to the other option while he was largely pup focused and when he blinked enough times, empty and void.

He didn't get a lot of time to blink.

There was a jumpy squirmy pup to clean and feed, and two mates to keep an eye on constantly, and new places to nest in, old places to renest in — under the bed was a particular favourite once they hit the middle of the week and Jeonghan started drinking water like they were due a drought.

Alpha kept providing meat, but fruit too, and bowls of lemon water when Jeonghan started to get snappy. Jeonghan had heard the doorbell go a few times, but he hadn't been bothered enough to investigate. Hunting could be delivered.

Sujin got really good at hissing, mimicking Jeonghan when he got annoyed at the itchy sticky sensation of heat crawling under his skin without any interest in acting on it and started to complain, hissing loudly until one of them came over and nuzzled him, demanding as if he was the pup. Sujin joined in, identical noises of complaint and outrage trilling from his throat, and half the time that was enough to distract Jeonghan.

The heat broke suddenly. The discomfort slipping from his skin like water after a bath and Jeonghan stood up, tired in a different way but awake. He picked Sujin up from where he'd been napping in the curl of Joshua's tail, and turned, heading straight down the stairs and past his skinclad mate at the stove, straight out into the back garden.

It was raining.

RAIN.

Jeonghan had never been so glad to feel rain on his fur as he was right then. His dam hadn't been lying when she said 'you'll want to leave enclosure when you finally can'. He'd thought he'd never want to step outside the house again, but here he was, watching Sujin try to attack the raindrops because they were falling on his head, and hearing his mates try to squeeze out the back door at the same time. 

He lay down and rolled onto his back, tongue lolling out to catch the rainfall, eyes wide open and staring at the dark clouds overhead.

Sometimes, in spite of and despite of everything, life was good.

*


	7. Episode 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December
> 
> A Chat Is Had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: allusions to suicide and references to past attempted suicide.

Jeonghan pushed Seungcheol away when he went to bite him several days after his heat ended. “Not tonight.”

“Baby, I’m sorry, but—”

“I’m not going to go anywhere, just leave it for awhile. Bite Shua instead. He’s still not properly linked.”

“Omega.” Seungcheol’s voice edged towards a growl and Jeonghan closed their bedroom door, closing the pup in behind it.

“Not tonight.” Jeonghan walked down the stairs, thinking hot chocolate and an episode or two of that series they’d been watching.

Seungcheol hedged him up against the wall in the hall and Jeonghan scratched down his chest, vicious and instinctive.

“I said no, Alpha. No means no.”

“Omega, you’re not in your—”

Jeonghan hissed and pinned Seungcheol against the wall, “No. I don’t need to be bitten. I don’t want to die, you don’t need to bite it out of me, Seungcheol I’m fine. Right now, I am totally fine.”

“Omega, sweetheart, I’m not biting you for how you feel right now, it’s for how you’ll feel tomorrow or the day after.”

Jeonghan let his fangs come fully down. Normally they were at half mast, he only emotionally bit at half capacity but he wasn’t emotionally biting now. He was threatening.

“Alpha, you haven’t bitten me in three weeks. And you don’t need to bite me now. I’m fine. I need to work through this in my own head too, you can’t keep biting me for the rest of my life—”

“I can.”

“You can’t. It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to you. Sujin deserves a dam who can remember further back than two weeks. Joshua deserves a mate who can do more than purr at him. You deserve more than a mate that let's you do whatever you want. I deserve to live, not exist, Seungcheol.”

“And you will, you will, but you need to let me bite you right now, Jeonghan.”

“I don’t. Seungcheol, I don’t. And you don’t need to. The fact that I can argue with you surely says that?”

The front door opened and Joshua closed it behind him, stepping close and Jeonghan hissed. “Stay there.”

“Omega?”

“Stay there.”

“Alpha?”

“Jeonghan won’t let me bite him.”

“Omega?” Joshua stepped closer and Jeonghan hissed louder, forearm moving to pin Seungcheol to the wall by the neck, flicking his eyes over to Joshua just to further cement his hiss.

Seungcheol twitched to move and Jeonghan raked his suddenly sharp nails down his stomach. “Don’t move, Alpha.”

“Sweetheart, you’re going feral, let us bite you please? You spent too long in fur.” Joshua crooned and Jeonghan’s teeth dripped.

“Don’t you dare use your voices on me. I am perfectly fine. If you bite me now, that’s abuse, not help. Joshua, stay back.”

“Okay, I won’t bite you. Let go of me please?”

Jeonghan stared at Seungcheol, eyes flicking rapidly between his.

“I promise. On Sujin’s life. I won’t bite you.”

“Joshua?”

“I won’t bite you. I promise. I swear I won’t.”

Jeonghan nodded and stepped back, licking at his fangs until they receded, venom all but gone. He scratched his nails against his jeans. “I’m getting a nail clippers.” He stepped around Seungcheol, past Joshua and headed back up the stairs, rooting in the bathroom press until he found the clippers and cutting all his nails carefully. He filled them smooth and breathed carefully. He hadn’t expected Seungcheol to challenge him. He felt… He needed to run.

  
Jeonghan slipped out the back and changed, racing off into the woods and running until he felt like he was going to fall over. He loved his mates, he loved his pup, he missed his other pup and he wanted to grieve. He needed to grieve. It had been nearly six months and he hadn’t really grieved yet. They needed to bury them. He wanted to cry — but then they’d think he needed to be bitten. 

He walked home slowly, walking past his dam’s house and sitting on his haunches. 

He missed his dam.  
  
The light was on in her kitchen and after several minutes of staring at the moon, searching for strength, Jeonghan loped into her garden and up to the back door. He pawed at it gently, pressing against the bell and snuffling a bit.

The door opened, Jeonghan chirped gently before sitting back on his haunches and waiting. His dam gripped onto the door frame and whispered out a prayer to the moon before kneeling down and burying her face in his fur, shaking. “Oh my pup, my darling boy, I never thought I’d see you again, oh my love.”

Jeonghan purred, inhaling her steady sweet scent. Either had he.

“Change back, I’ll get you something to wear. Do your mates know where you are? You're going to scare them, darling.” His dam ran her hands through his fur before stepping back to let him change.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you so much. Here, put these on.” She handed him a robe.

Jeonghan pulled it on, and then pulled her into a hug, nuzzling close. She slipped her teeth into his shoulder, purring in that mid pitch that she'd always had when she was truly happy, and Jeonghan nuzzled her neck and exhaled. He'd missed his dam. 

She made tea. They drank it, and talked, Jeonghan told her about Sujinnie, about his fangs, and how strong he was, and how much he was loved. And about his mates, and how they’d just stopped biting him, that they had so much hope that he’d be okay. They loved each other too. And they loved him. How he couldn't remember much. But that he thought it might get better. How he worried about the future, but was trying to stay in the present. How he'd wanted more than one pup and—

"You can have more, my darling," his dam crooned softly, taking his hands, "you were always going to have a few babies weren't you? This doesn't stop that. As long as you want to?"

"I don't want to forget them."

"You won't. You'll never replace them, but you can still have more if you want to."

Jeonghan nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat and blinking away the tears.

"You don't have to decide now, you spent your heat in fur, most dams spend the first two in fur, or something similar. Too many pups too close together isn't easy."

Jeonghan blushed and nodded, gulping down his long cold tea and avoiding her eyes.  
She laughed. 

  
Feeling recharged, he shifted and went home. They loved him. They were just worried. He changed back into his clothes at the back door and put the kettle on in the kitchen.

“Tea?”

Joshua leaned in the doorway, neck on show, eyes down, “Yes, please. Both of us.”

Jeonghan nodded and got down the teapot, hunting in the press for three decent mugs — most of the good ones were in the dishwasher — and finding a clean milk jug.

“Jeonghan—”

“I need to grieve, Joshua.”

“I know.”

“I can’t do that if I’m out of it all the time.”

“I know,” Joshua took a step closer, “I know. We’re just scared. You didn’t see yourself before Sujin. Or even when he was born, for months, Jeonghan, for two months you tried nearly every day to do something. Cut open your stomach, slit your wrists—”

“No other omega that I’ve ever heard of who has lost a child has survived, Joshua. It’s been five months since then.” Jeonghan scalded the pot and put in three teabags, putting the lid on before turning to look at him. 

"Yes—"

“If you really want me to live past—" Jeonghan gripped the tea pot tightly– "if you really want me to live, properly live, eventually I’ll have to get pregnant and carry to term again, and I can’t do that if the thoughts of being pregnant make me cry. I can’t do that when part of me is sobbing all the time for the pup I never even got to see. I need to grieve, and you need to let me. I’m surprised the council hasn't intervened yet. A visibly fresh bite mark on an omega for six months? That’s grounds for removal—”

“The doctors ruled it medically necessary.”

Jeonghan nodded, “Well I’m ruling it unnecessary unless I’m about to do something–" he paused– "something incredibly rash, Joshua. From now on. No more biting my neck.”

“This apply to your teeth too?” Joshua stepped even closer and skirted his fingertips along Jeonghan’s waistband.

“Has it ever?” Jeonghan's smile was weak, “I’ve been biting you as long as I’ve known you, don’t make me stop now.”

“Gonna put them where they belong?”

“Soon, Beta.”

“How soon?” Joshua laced his fingers through Jeonghan’s belt loops, “I wanna be mated now.”

“Once Alpha and I stop arguing.”

“When’s that gonna be?”

“Depends on Alpha.” Jeonghan tugged Joshua closer and looked over his shoulder at Seungcheol leaning against the wall.

“So I can’t bite you unless you’re about to hurt yourself?”

“That’s what you’ve been doing, or have you gotten drunk off the power.” 

“Jeonghan—” Seungcheol sounded tired.

Jeonghan was tired too. “I can’t remember, Alpha. The last thing I remember, before the Monday before my heat, is my pup dying in my womb.”

Seungcheol inhaled and Joshua moved as if to pull back, but Jeonghan leaned into him, he needed holding for this.

“Every time you bite me, that’s the first thing I relive.”

“How do you know, if you can’t remember?”

“Knowing is deeper, Seungcheol. I know I have a four month old pup. I know that beta is nearly my mate even though I don’t remember talking about it. I know that at some stage my fingers were taped up, but I don’t remember why or who by — I can guess, but I don’t remember. I know that you two had sex, but I couldn’t tell you when or if I was there—”

“You weren’t.”

Jeonghan nodded. “I know, because your shoulders practically tell me, that I’ve been a handful. That you’ve probably broken down and wanted to give up. Maybe omegas should die when their pups do—” Jeonghan soothed his words by gently rubbing circles into Joshua's back, “—but I don’t remember either of you ever crying.”

“It’ll come back, your memory—”

“Only if it’s let, Alpha. This time it took me three days to remember your names, how many weeks were you both your titles?”

“Four months,” Joshua whispered into his neck, “I thought I was gonna have to be a dam, I don’t wanna be a dam, Hannie.” Joshua’s voice tinged with tears and Jeonghan cooed, kissing his neck softly. 

“Please don’t make me.”

“Alpha, if you want me to be able to watch Sujin grow up you need to let me remember. His first steps? First words? He’s too little still, but I want to keep those memories. Please.”

“Okay, okay. Okay baby, I won’t bite you again unless–" Seungcheol blinked back his own tears and closed the few steps between then– "unless I absolutely have to. Unless you've given me permission to. Unless — I promise.”

Jeonghan exhaled and squeezed Joshua tightly, tears seeping into Joshua’s hair.  
"Thank you."

  
It wasn't the first time the three of them had sunk into the couch amid blankets and tea to watch shitty television, but it was the first time in a long while that it felt like they were on equal footing. That they were on the same page, singing from the same hymn sheet, and that — apart from planning a mating ceremony for Joshua — life was starting to ease into a semblance of normality that would actually work long term.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter,](https://twitter.com/RoseEnDiamant) [cc.](https://curiouscat.qa/MurderRose).


End file.
